...and Hope does not Disappoint

hollow space

2011-05-02T00:40:00.001-04:00

my heart is breaking for you
it's better than not to feel at all
time has become an irritable nuisance
the numbness is effective
in greying my colour scheme

where am i to go?
what am i to do?
others have more plans for me
than i can come up on my own
waiting to wake up to something more

i know this can't be what you've dreamed
for me to live and breath
this hollow space must make you
shiver in your skin
that's been torn up for me

i'm sorry
i know excuses only point
the finger back at me
but i honestly cant tear myself
from the portal diluting me

maybe what i'm feeling
is not so much my craving for you
but rather the faint reflection
of what's real
you're heart that's breaking for me

Sometimes, I suprise myself.

2010-11-09T11:18:00.005-05:00

After lamenting on my last post about having absolutely nothing to say - I launched two brand new blogs. Both of which have seen more action in the last 24hrs than my current, long-term relationship blog has seen in the past 24 months.

So without further ado, I present to you:

Run Phat Girl, Run - My new personal project towards the impossible

and

Home. Space. Beautiful - A 2nd, equally exciting personal project, this time, a creative one.

Turns out, I am super productive when I'm not social networking or playing Tetris online. Who would've thunk it?! Go figure. Well, I hope you'll follow me along these two very exciting journeys...I'm so excited about future posts.

Much love,

<3 Linda

Say wha, Sasquatch??

2010-11-05T17:40:00.011-04:00

It has been nearly a whole YEAR since my last "post." I can't even claim to have a 'blog' as blogs require the addition of new matierial, networking and consistency. I, on the other hand, use a website built for blogging for "blobbing." A new term i coined to describe what I'm doing. Blobbing. Periodic, if not ever. What does one do on one of these? Despite a year full of adventures, heartachs, joys, sorrows, loves, hates, growth, experiences and with that - newly minted wisdom - the kind that comes from making a lot of mistakes, i have less and less to say.

Truth be told, the reason, true reason for not blogging?

I don't really know what to say.

I could blog about the events of my life - but that's what Facebook status updates & tweets are for. Besides, i have a hard time doing it on Facebook or Twitter. Much less more than 140 characters worth of descriptions here.

I could talk about the revelatory gems handed to me by Divinity in moments of silent contemplations, but most often, they are for me. Given for my growth, a challenge for transformation within my soul. Not (necessarily) for public consumption.

I could crack jokes, tell humorous stories and pay satirical homage to our humanity - but I'm still working on my comedic timing and "natural"-sounding wit. LOL. I'll get back to you when i master it. Hah. (as in, i'm not the only laughing at myself...like i am now!!)

I could gush about my marriage and the blessing of a godly, and ferociously loving husband, but he'd consider that "pillow talk" - basically, off limits. Plus, who's benefit would that be for?

I could lament about challenges and struggles that i face, or should i say, wish not to face?

I could debate politics and spew all kinds of fiery opinions i carry - and one day i may, but right now, i'd much rather have that passionate, heated, mind stimulating dialogue WITH you.

I could share moments of being knocked down, like really down, yet finding new strength to overcome, stand-up and place one foot in-front of the next - yet that happens every day, to you and to me. Let's have coffee instead.

I could numerate about an expertise to help forge ahead a path you may want to take, like how to invest in GICs, RRSPs, Mutual Funds, Stocks, Bonds...who am i kidding? I dont even know what those acronyms stand for! Much less decode their reality. Let me FIND you a blog that does.

I could dribble about mundane aspects of personal observations, and yet, you'd find it exhausting (albeit amusing at times) to read and i'd find it tedious to write.

So what now? I don't know.

I pray, that one day, when i have something to say that is beyond myself, beyond a narcissistic self-glorifying gab about me - something that would enrich YOU, make you smile, lift your spirits, encourage your heart, light up hope in a room otherwise dark... If and when, Daddy want's to use this mind, this voice, these fingers to reach out and touch you - i know i wont be able to stop.

Until then, here's to love. The purest love of Jesus. It's what we ALL share a commonality in - We are loved. You are loved. I am loved. He is love.

Pinch Me!

2009-11-11T21:47:00.002-05:00

She's my baby!!

Blame Starbucks

2009-11-09T14:48:00.011-05:00

It's Starbuck's fault.

Dreams that have been incubating in the womb of potentiality & calling are hatching and making a lot of noise! Their screech is similar to that of a newborn crying out to be fed, and dang it, mom & pop will feed!

Sam & I have been inundated with the butterflies that flutter around the chest/stomach area at the picture we see being painted before us of our future by our Papa and we are itching to move forward and running in one spot at the anticipation set before us. AHHH, it is so exciting.

Yet, dreams, as anything of value and great worth, require a focusing of energies, finances, time and priorities. Hence, the trimming has begun! But not trimming out of a depressing, "we can't afford it" attitude, rather, an inexpressible joy at investing in something so much bigger than ourselves!

I now have NO desire to spend $3.99 on a breakfast sandwich and $5.99 on a latte at Starbucks anymore! I have no desire to purchase new clothes that will only be in-style for this season. I have no desire to eat out at every ethnic restaurant i can think of, every single meal! I have this miraculous, energizing, tantalizing drive within me, probably for the FIRST TIME in my life, to fly head first into the bulls-eye of the destiny and purpose that God has for us! I can see it. I can smell it! It's more real to me than my POLS paper that's due this Wednesday! AHH!

So I blame Starbucks. I blame Starbucks for the hundreds of dollars spent the past 8 years addicted to it's elixir. I blame Starbucks for the awakening of my monetary senses. Without such a consistent gauge of my personal habits and personality, i would have never been able to have such a definitive marker of this internal transformation!

So THANK YOU Starbucks - for the hours and hours spent contemplating on your plush leather couches that are worn at the tip of the arms from others who've spent hours and hours resting on you. THANK YOU Starbucks for the times spent within your welcoming open doors expressing a broken heart, imploring God to awaken sedated dreams and desires numbed by the anesthesia of a busy life. THANK YOU Starbucks for being the marker of post & pre 'dreams-come-alive' in Sam & Linda Dumcum!

AHHHH! I can't wait to not spend money at Starbucks! Hahaha!!

Joshua Mateo

2009-10-13T19:15:00.006-04:00

You must have been formed

By the hands of an angel

Greater still

The Divine fingers of El Shaddai

Perfect are your features

Even the ones that wrinkle

Pale freckles on your nose

Are just where they should be

All of heaven shouted

All of earth rejoiced

Singing "Hallelujahs" in harmony
To the songs of your mommy & daddy

You're a dream come true

Breath held in anticipation

Greatest gift of God delivered

Waiting for the arrival of you

Here you are, breathing softy

Sleeping in the arms of your auntie

So indescribable in beauty

Even the cherubs stare in wonder

Maybe you're a mirror, a portal

Into the vast eternity

Of the expressless love of the Lion

The passion of the Lamb.

Baby you're a telescope

Into the greatest mystery

Of what's contained in the space

Between the shoulders of God Almighty.

Didn't know such love was possible

You bring out the impossible

You are destined for the supernatural

You are cosmically loved, Joshua Mateo

Forever, and ever, and ever.

DOB: October 8, 2009
Time: 12:16pm
Weight: 9.8lbs

Eden

2009-09-15T10:31:00.007-04:00

When the first light brightened the dark
Before the breaking of the human heart
There was you and there was me

Innocence was all I knew
Cause all I had to know was you
We were running underneath the trees

I wanna see you face to face
Where being in your arms is a permanent state
I want it like it was back then
I wanna be in Eden

I still remember how you called my name
And I would meet you at the garden gate
How the glory of your love would shine

I still remember when the stars were young
You breathe life into my lungs
Oh I never felt so alive

I wanna see you face to face
Where being in your arms is the permanent state
I want it like it was back then
I wanna be in Eden

To be naked and unashamed
In sweet downpour of innocent rain
I want it like it was back then
I wanna be in Eden

My eyes can see the colours of glory
My hands can reach the heavens before me
Oh my God I want to be there with you

Where our hearts will beat with joy together
And love will reign forever and ever
Oh my God I want to be there with you*

This is one of Phil Wickham's latest songs that he preformed during the "Something Heavenly" Tour with Sancuts Real. I got to play "groupie" as Sam & Every Eye were involved in bringing the tour in. I have not been able to get this song out of my head for the past few days. I hope it speaks to you as much as it has to me.

_________________________________________________________

*Lyrics used with the generous permission of Phil Wickham. From his newest record, "Heaven and Earth" about to hit an iTunes store or music shelf near you in approx 1 month. Don't miss it!

Hello Kitty!

2009-08-19T20:30:00.013-04:00

Hahahah!

Oh, how i love being Asian. Seriously, what other nationality can empower you to entertain yourself for hours in-front of a wall of stationary? Who else gives you such beloved characters such as Hello Kitty, Pingu, Blue Bear, and other K-pop adorable creatures? What other culture perfects the art of chopstick-fly-catching? Or brings you Kung-Fu Pandas, tofu wrapped rice rolls and robot making 5 yr old geniuses?

Ahhh, Asians!

Just before getting dropped off at the YVR Airport here in Vancouver, my aunt took my mom, JaeHee and i to a Chinese mall...there i discovered these glorious wonders:

Tanks full of all kinds of fish, live shrimp, live crab, king crab, lobster! You can practice being Julie who's practicing being Julia Child! Where else can you see what a live scallop looks like?

A wall FULL of all sorts of hot sauce! FULL! VARIETY! Not just 3 different brands like in most supermarkets! And all my favourite kinds too! Unbelievable! I'm in heaven!

The BEST part! Asian junk food! I had to sample a few, mostly new to me, some old favourites (the Onion Rings and Strawberry Pocky).

Check this out:
Top left hand corner - Whistle Candy! Just below that "Oriental Soothing Herb Drops" (OSHD for short) - yum. To the right of the "OSHD" are...wait for it...wait for it...they are worth waiting for...COFFEE FLAVOURED BREATH MINTS!! You read correctly. Dont we have breath mints to HIDE the coffee scent in our mouths? Yah, that's what i thought too!

But, not to be outdone: the KitKat. Please take a closer look beyond the familiar branding to the photo of what's actually inside. Does that look like chocolate to you? Looks more like sesame seed sprinkled fried tofu cubes to me! Too odd for words. All i can do is open the package and try them.

The rest is pretty self explanatory...Hello Kitty branded candy that I'm sure taste as delightful as the feline herself. The other, a strawberry flavoured something or other. I like strawberry flavoured stuff...I'm sure I'll like it.

So there you have it! A sampling of how awesome it is to be Asian.

Ahhh....Time to board my flight!

From the mouth of babes...

2009-08-17T20:31:00.006-04:00

Jae-hee (Hanna), 6 yrs old, said to me in the car ride back from Whistler:

"You know what's the weirdest thing? When someone is the guest of someone and the person says, "I wanna go somewhere" and the other person says, "I'll take you somewhere" and the guest says, "no it's ok, I dont have to go" when they really want to go, and the other person says, "No, I'll take you, it wont take long!" when really it does take long and the guest says, "No its ok" when they want to go! And the the person is trying to be nice and the guest is trying to be nice and they fight with each other cuz the other is trying to be nice. It's the WEIRDEST thing!"

Today's lesson in "Child-likeness"? Being honest is more logical than being polite.

Imagine Life Without Computers...

2009-08-17T02:15:00.016-04:00

I was having some quality time with my little cousin, JaeHo (Aaron); 9 years old, inventor extraordinaire, genius child, gifted with exploding creativity, technologically savvy and just as hooked on is Nintendo dsi as the next kid.

JaeHo is the kind of boy who has a whole community of online friends he's met while playing on Roblox the online version of Lego and already knows how to touch type. 9 years old. I learned how to touch type in grade 10! I was 15. When i told him that, he nonchalantly said, "Well, i play on the computer a lot, so..." True say. Words from the mouth of a 21 Century tech wiz kid who could be a PC commercial.

Anyway, I decided to set him up with a blog (don't tell him i gave you the link) since he's already online so much. I, being the wise old cousin, wanted to channel his creative juices in a productive and healthy way. In a blog, he can practice typing, create short stories, express himself freely...etc.

He was so delighted to have is OWN WEBSITE! This was a big deal. He was fascinated with the idea and totally pumped to start writing. As i was setting him up on blogspot, i said to him, "Jaeho, I didnt have a computer growing up when i was your age! Can you imagine a world without computers?"

I was totally expecting a 9 year old worthy answer of, "eww, you're so old"

What he did say was, "It'd be better."

"What? A world without computers would be better? Did you say better? You mean worse, right?"

"It'd be better." He maintained.

"Why?"

"Because then everyone would be outside more."

Wow. Simple, yet so profound.

With twitter, facebook, blogspot, text messaging...as amazing as technology is and will continue to evolve to become, we're loosing our human connection and getting fat in the meantime. Solution? Stop reading this blog and let's get out more! (wink)
_________________________________________________
ps. since Jaeho started blogging, he's discovered he can even publish posts from his Nintendo dsi. There's no going back now, is there?

as you are

2009-08-14T19:16:00.021-04:00

i'm placing on the table
everything i've collected
since the last time we did this

here's all of my junk
all my dirty rags
i've collected quite a few of them

you can have my filthiness
my brokenness
take all my shattered random pieces

all thats died in my hands
resurrect them in yours
whats fallen through my cracks
catch them in your completeness
all my scattered dreams
dream them for me

you are beautiful
divine holiness
expressed in glorious light
iridescent living colours
shining through your eyes
staring, staring straight into mine

gentle as a breeze
fierce consuming fire
sacrificing lamb
ferocious roaring lion
soaring high as eagles
lowly homeless man

you are God
you are King
you are Beautiful

come mold me as you are
and make me beautiful again

eat⋅ing [ee-ting]

2009-08-10T14:35:00.004-04:00

- noun
1. the act of a person or thing that eats.
2. food with reference to its quality or tastiness when eaten: This fish is delicious eating.

- adjective
3. good or fit to eat, esp. raw: eating apples.
4. used in eating: eating utensils.

It's 2:35pm and I have forgotten to eat. Something I find myself doing quite often. Grrr.

Midnight Crooner

2009-08-10T12:02:00.011-04:00

Voice of an angel
Commands raging seas to rest in peace
Reaching into the souls unknown
Forcing one to confront their reality

My eyes spilled on cue to your words of rolling melodies
Pulling me back to Spring of 2006
Young man wide eyed standing on the steps
Of a world filled with possibilities

We're all grown up now
Weathered by the jabs of time
Bruised hearts unhealed broken bones
Sobered in the name of Maturity

Is this who we are?
Am I who I signed up to become?
Have we forgotten the innocence of youth?
The colours of living free?

Now lost in a field of swaying faces
Exactly where you want to be
I hope you are truly happy
In touch with your humanity

Who are we
If we don't have our laughter?
Who are we
If we don't carry sorrows?

Just don't let them take your sparkle
Don't let it steal your shine
Don't forget the boy inside still carries
A need for love from his Adoni

Relationships...it's the "R" word.

2009-08-04T10:05:00.015-04:00

Relationships.

There's been a lot of talk surrounding this word as of late. The fact that there has been a wedding every weekend of July might have something to do with that. It's amazing the kind of emotions this word has the power to evoke both in speaker and the hearer of this word.

Relationships.

We tend to feel: Threatened - at the projected idea or subjective idea that "I am to blame for my current or lack of." Hopeful - "There is a glint in someone's eye that matches and reflects the glint in mine"...all other butterflies ensue. Hopeless, Angry, Nostalgic, Joyful, Disappointed, Confused, Resolved, Content, Peaceful, Nauseous, Euphoric...and sometimes all in the same day.

Relationships.

No formula. No method to the madness. No fail safe steps. No neon signs (sorry ladies :). No clear boxes to determine "Right/Wrong for you." No two stories are the same. No one's story is the same. Which means, your story will be like no others and your story cannot be compared to any others. There is no true authority in the arena of Relationships, no expert - except the Author and Creator of the "R" word.

Relationships are much like God. Mind-bafflingly Simply AND Intricately, Deeply Complex. Relationships are about love, as He is Love. Relationships are not just for our personal enjoyment/pain but a life-size installation art piece, a living demonstration, revelation played out of God's unconditional, unrelentingly, supremely romantic, heart-breakingly unrequited, forever pursuing, mysterious, dangerous, risky, untamed, untainted, unadulterated, pure, true LOVE.

Think about your heart-aches.
Jesus' physical heart broke for you 2000 years ago, and still aches to be your 1st love.

Think about your joys.
"...you love Him...you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" (1Pet1:8)

Think about your failures.
"If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny who He is." (2Tim2:13)

Think about unrequited love.
God is the greatest unrequited lover. We love because He loved us FIRST. (1Jn4:19,Jn3:16,17)

Think about all the times you've had to painfully wait.
Jesus has been waiting for you since He thought of you before the begining of time (Ps139) and is still patient with us, ready to fulfill His promises. (2Pet3:9)

If anything, all your heart-aches and joys have only lead you or can lead you to the GREATEST Lover and shown you a glimps into His incredible heart of Love.

Take heart, my beloved friend. Relationship was not created to be this complicated mess we sometimes make it out to be. It's meant to bring you to Life - Abundant Life, Life to the Fullest (Jn10:10), His Life (Jn14:6)...So if you're feeling less than alive when you hear the "R" word, let the Lover of your soul remind you that you are not lacking anything. Because the one who created who you are and thought up Relationship, the one who invented it, is sitting right next to you.

Why don't you just ask Him a question?

Ecclesiastes 3:11

2008-03-13T00:48:00.010-04:00

Beauty beyond measure
Extending outside of space
Movement not limited to motion
No temporal exchange

Your eyes exclude nothing
Detailing in the simple
Love what's been shamed

Splashing sparkle on what's naught
Touching all that is shriveled
Giving worth to the recycled
Nothing left unsought

Breath of the Divine
Imprints His Design
Reflections of His Mind

Eternity is the measure
Finite unable to comprehend
Your hand unfathomable
Futile to contain

This vastness brought low
Wisdom laid down
Magnificence made bare

I am beautiful to You
My pain is precious to You
My frustrations over Time
Frustrates You

You make all things
Beautiful
In Your time.

Life takes place behind the face.

2008-03-10T00:47:00.005-04:00

"Life takes place behind the face.

Interacting with God in the place of our imagination the place of my spirit.

Living for God happens on the inside, it always happens on the inside. That is the reality I am trying to live by. God is looking at my heart, looking at my mind. It says that God is the one who searches the heart. He lives within us. He made us like a garden enclosed so that He can dwell in us. THIS is where life takes place, this - right here [my heart] - this is where I live before God. The motives of my heart...He is looking at the CORE of who I am and that's where we are interacting, that's where He lives!

So it doesnt matter who you are, everyone is qualified - your heart is moving, all you need is a moving heart."

-Misty Edwards on IHOP 'One Thing' video podcast.

Res·ur·rec·tion

2008-03-05T18:06:00.011-05:00

[rez-uh-rek-shuh-n] - noun

1.	the act of rising from the dead.

2.	the state of those risen from the dead.

3.	a rising again, as from decay, disuse, etc.; revival.

"Awakening"

2008-02-25T02:08:00.011-05:00

Face down with the LA curbside endings
With the ones and zeros.
Downtown was the perfect place to hide.
The first star that I saw last night was a headlight
Of a man-made sky, but man- made never made our dreams collide,
Collide.

Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain,
We're awakening
Here we are now with our desperate youth and the pain,
We're awakening
Maybe it's called ambition, you've been talking in your sleep
About a dream, we're awakening

Last week found me living for nothing but deadlines,
With my dead beat sky but, this town doesn't look the same tonight
These dreams started singing to me out of nowhere
And in all my life I don't know that I ever felt so alive,
Alive

I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating,
I'm bleeding
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating... it's beating...
I'm bleeding

-by Switchfoot "Oh! Gravity"-

"I want to live like i know what i'm leaving..."

Wow. Those lyrics so challenge me. For 2008 God gave me Eph 5:15-16 as my "year verse" and I'm still needing Holy Spirit to shape me and form me to be and live this out. To live with purpose every moment, every minute, every decision.

To live intentionally, with design, the way my Heavenly Father is and has made me to be.

“Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people), making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil." (AMP)

Ahhh...Romance.

2008-02-14T19:29:00.027-05:00

Here are some hilarious photos i found while searching "Romance" on Google Images. I couldn't resist but share! Hope you enjoy!

Otter Romance

Utter Romance - Fabio wannabe

Mr. Romance - Fabio in the flesh with no Photoshop blur effects and shirt buttoned up!

Who needs Ken, when you're in Fabio's arms?!

NASCAR Romance - Featuring our own Nick Tenszen - (This is not "Speed Dating's" first blog appearance, believe it or not!)

Nothing says "Romantic" more than a putrid green shag iPod case. Pay attention men! Great gift idea!

Spidey Romance! (is it just me or does Spiderman have an unusually curvy head?!)

Bandit Romance - Hey, some ladies LOVE Zorro!

Romance "God's Way" - Apparently it comes with a Brady Bunch smile included. (Just a tad creepy! :) Good message none-the-less)

Who doesn't think a lady with her cat is romantic? (ugh, need to shake that one off!)

Korean Romance - of course! It wouldnt be Korean Drama if it didn't feature a perfectly polished man in distress with weepy eyes and a busted up lip - that's Romance, people!

Awww...cute Smiley Korean Romance!

____________________________________________

Well, i hope you enjoyed my findings. Google "Love" and you'll find a whole stack more...
Ahhh...thankfully, Love and Romance aren't meant to be expressed solely by a 2 dimensional image...it is alive, real, full of colour, movement, beauty and the One who started it all!

Happy VD everyone!

Romanced on Valentines

2008-02-14T18:04:00.007-05:00

I'm loving BC.

Sure, there is a Starbucks on every corner of Vancouver and definitely one in Surrey, BC - where i'm at right now, but DANG, Starbucks does NOT rule the Java Empire as it does in Toronto.

I'm sitting on a cosy wicker couch in what's called the "Java Hut" drinking a Soy Chai Latte with home-made banana bread. Ahhh. Java Hut to me, epitomizes what a true "third place" should be like. They have practically organic everything, serve packaged pepperoni sticks (some may gag, but i love these things) from a butcher down the street (which was soo delicious by the way) and the guy behind the counter noticed i was carrying something heavy and commented about it to me. I told him it was my computer. Without skipping a beat or even asking me, he wrote down on a piece of receipt paper the password to their secured wireless and handed it to me as i made my order. SUPERB! I love Java Hut.

Since my quasi-boycott of Starbucks, i've experienced so many incredible coffee establishments that are equally or superior welcoming environments committed to customer satisfaction, comfort and enjoyment. I'm really enjoying the adventure of experiencing new places to have God-times and chill-me-times.

Anyway...Temples to the Espresso god was not the original intent of this entry, so speaking of god...

I love that God is Love. He is the Divine Romance. He is the creator of romance, he romances us and Dang, is He ever romantic.

On a day that we singles would normally wish we could roll our eyes further back into our heads and secretly wish we were one of "those girls" we knew in highschool who pranced around the halls waving their long-stemmed red wand around making the rest of us jealous...i feel the warm breath of our God of love who has committed to never ever leave our side. Why do we even want Valentines Day? I believe it's because we all want to know that we are so special, invaluable, loved, cared for, cherished, worth spending loads and loads of money and time on :)...and i think we sometimes can become disconnected to the fact that we are meant to feel that every day and these desires are never truly satisfied in it's fullness except through our God of Love, God of true Romance.

I feel more cared for right now, than i ever have by any human. He's even given me gifts! :) One of the ladies that work for Java Hut came up to me and handed me a clear package of dark chocolate covered Sumatra beans - i love these things!! And a bottle of strawberry syrup that i can mix with some club soda to make my own "Italian soda" or whole new concoction birth in my imaginations! :) I am so blessed.

Thank you Father, for you're indescribable love and grace. Thank you that you know me better than anyone else. Thank you that who i am on the inside matters to you. That what i like matters to you that what i'm like matters to you. I love you. Thank you for your love for me.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Flight to Vancouver: $753?!!?!!

2008-02-13T20:45:00.005-05:00

Linda: "WHAT?!

I've always known flights to BC were more doosh then to the UK but come on!"

Boarding Pass: "No, no...chill out, take a deep breath. Let me break it down for you girl.

Fare: $2.50
GST/HST $0.36
Security Tax $4.67
---------------------------
Flying to Vancouver for $7.53? PRICELESS!"

That's right, people! I flew out to Vancouver for SEVEN dollars and FIFTY-THREE cents! Ahhh, the joys of having connections with the Airport authority...ok, maybe not the AA, but definitely the higher ups in the flight world...ok, maybe not true either. It helps to have a baby sis whos-not-so-much-a-baby-anymore-@-24 sis...the one, the only TINA LOVE!

Anyway, i got here and it has been food for my soul, oil in my lamp, the wind beneath my wings, the automatic buttons for my doors, the curvy handlebar of my yet to be found cruiser bicycle...well, you get the point.

Let's just start with the weather. I took one pair of shoes, or shall i say "boots", one thick long winter coat toping off layers and layers underneath. I arrive in Beautiful British Columbia to find that V-town is 35 Degrees C warmer than whenst i came, the sun was shining and my Aunt took me all over downtown Vancouver - Yaletown, Chinatown, Gastown, trendy shops, Japanese groceries (coolest ever!) and we ate sushi and brought home the real thing to make from scratch. My Aunt is so cool.

THEN, i get to play with my cousins!! Jae-Hee (the 4yr old beauty) tried to keep me awake by pinch/massaging my neck - resembling a tickle, and then when that didn't work, proceeded to put her feet in my face. I tried reverse psychology by pretending that was the potion i needed to sleep, only then i found not only her little feet in my face, but her big toe was being shoved up my right nostril. Yah, that's when that ended.

She then proceeded to bounce on my stomach and jump around in bed...thankfully my Aunt rescued me and i slept for 2 hours.

Enters Jae-Ho (7yr old wonderboy!). I woke up to the sounds of him chattering in the backround, obviously back from school. Then i hear, "No, Jae-Ho, let her sleep!" "But i just want to peek! Let me just peek!" Then quiet footsteps began to ascend the stairs. So jumped out of bed and hid behind the door, couching, ready, waiting...then Jae-Ho gently opens the door and i UNLEASHED a growl on him! Needless to say, it was so much fun!

Since the we've played Lego and i attempted to build things. My lack of creativity and inginuity was obvious next to my little cousin's genius contraptions...alas...i spent the whole time they were at Tae Kwon Do trying to make something worthy of "cool"...however i gave up after a hours at it. I ended up coming up with a "secret door" that my cousin found in less than a nano second. Not so "secret" after all.

Alas, it's been healing and beautiful here. I am so thankful that God opened the opportunity and the time for me to get away.

Ahhh...many more stories to come... love yous!

408 of 365

2008-02-12T10:39:00.001-05:00

It's been OVER a whole year since my last post...As Brendan Serez notably pointed out.

I think i broke my own record. :) Sweet!

Now that I'm done with not blogging...i believe an update is in order.

Reading my last post, filled with the buzz of anticipation, naive, wide-eyed, blank canvass view of 2007 from the end of a year i did not know how it would turn out, is kinda trippy. Remembering the feeling of newness and wonder of what God had in store for me in 2007 and now looking back and chronicling the past 12 months in my mind and heart is a very sobering place. I weighty sense of awe. Awe at the fact that we are so human. Our minds so finite. We think we know and yet we know nothing. We hope and yet we despair not realizing the days ahead of us are not in the hands of some 'Evil Genius' who only wills for our obedience in hopes of a good future. But a powerful, almighty, infinite, sovereign, holy, awesome, marvelous God of all gods who is also our loving Father - full of goodness, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, life, promise, joy. This incredible Heavenly Dad who knows the plans he has for us. Plans to bless us and not harm us, to give us a HOPE and a FUTURE. (Jer. 29:11)

Looking back on my past as i was about to embrace my future has given me a fresh perspective on the goodness of God. If i were once again sitting on January 2nd, 2007 and you were to ask, "Linda, what would be the greatest dream come true for 2007?", i would not have been able to give you an answer that would even compare to how astoundingly above and beyond my imagination this past year has been for me.

Life absolutely has its ups and downs, however through Jesus we have ABUNDANT LIFE which means the downs only feed the ups and the ups outshine the downs. 2007 can be defined as a year of promises fulfilled and the shaking of my head in speechless wonderment. Why do we ever doubt the goodness of God who is Love? Why do we always hope beyond faith?

Faith, Hope and Love must exist together. Hope - in the goodness of God that He gives us glimpses of, Faith that the goodness we see is not just faint mirages, but rather glimpes of what is to come and experiencing the beautiful tangible LOVE of God through all that we've hoped and had faith for.

Dreams God has fulfilled in 2007:
- Started a beautiful relationship and fell in love with the most wonderful man, Sam Dumcum
- Started living with my amazing friend, Noel Grzetic
- Enrolled into York University, Majoring in Political Science
- Planted a brand new congregation - TACF North York
- An "A" Student (take that, High School!)
- Heavy Rain: our 1st Young Adult Conference which was REVOLUTIONARY
- Became engaged to the most wonderful man, Sam Dumcum
- Rang in the New Year with people I love, putting God 1st in 2008

I am now 26 years, 1 month and 10 days old and I am excited about the "New Beginnings" He has in store to pour out in 2008.

IT's ME BERF-DAY!!!

2007-01-02T09:39:00.004-05:00

YAY!!

25 years OLD today.

...i now HAVE to shed my childish ways and officially be a responsible adult. Shucks! I was enjoying the "young but respectable" age of 24...in fact, since 21 - every year has been my favourite. So i do have a pretty good feeling about being 25. Only now I'm no longer considered to be in my "early 20s", I'm now a quarter of a CENTURY and much closer to 30! EEk! I need to get a move on! :)

It's already been a good year, full of unexpected surprises (and it's only been 2 days!!) ...which i am sure will be blogged about in the not-too-distant future. But Daddy has been so good to me, IS so good to me and i see His mischievous smile and that sparkle in His eyes when He's TOTALLY up to something in my life...now He's grinning...yup, definitely something up His sleeve. The promises of GOd for me this year are overwhelming. The steps He's already laid out for me are overwhelming and because of that, i ain't leaving that little "linda shaped" pocket in His heart set aside just for me because my life depends on it!! Even if the whole world is deceived and may disagree, i sure as heck know my silly, awkward and fumbling ways... Like, what do i know? Really?

Without Him, 2007 and my 25th year is pretty much hopeless...haha!! Seriously! I think i could star in my own slap-stick comedy staring: me. Hahaa!! (And you all thought "Borat" was bad :) "Veddy NICE!") But being "without Him" is not an option so neither is "hopelessness." "In Him was Life, and the Life was the LIGHT of man!" (Jn. 1:4)

So I'm excited! Life, bring it on! Hit me with your best shot!! WAH!

It's the MOST wonderful time...

2006-12-28T20:25:00.002-05:00

You would have thought I was 4, by the way i was squealing and giggling, bouncing about my seat! I'm convinced that the kids were just the adults' excuse for coming to watch Disney on Ice, sorta like an accessory, because com'mon, let's face it...it's the grown ups who REALLY want to meet Mickey & Minnie! Who can resist the charms of Daffy, Daisy and Goofie?!? Myself, Anna, Noel, Andrew, Sarah Gaz, Jon were secure enough to go watch Disney on Ice without a child to deflect on...yup! Secure. Well, our friend Mark is in the show...yah... (shoot! OK, i am deflecting.) "Mark is in the show, we went to support our friend. Yah...that's it...no kids but friend in show! "

Anyway Mark is currently doing "break work", a phrase they use in the "Biz" which essentially means, instead of being with his friends and family for 2 months after depriving us of his presence being on the opposite side of the known WORLD touring "Finding Nemo" for the past 500 years...HE'S GONE ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!! @%*#!! (No, I'm not upset! Really.) ...with a show called "Mickey and Minnie's Magical Journey" skating all over North America, though mostly the States. Thankfully he had a couple Canadian shows lined up and Toronto was one of them!

This is the show where we get to join the Mickey and Friends as they go on vacation to London, England. On their journey they visit Peter Pan, Cruella De Vil, the Little Mermaid and Lilo & Stitch. (The last I've never heard of, but bawled - real liquid - the whole way through...so heart warming, so heart wrenching...baahhhh!)

It was AWESOME...we cheered, and hollered, clapped and waved from the audience! It was a roller coaster of exciting proportions! Mark got us tickets (since he's on the show!) and after the show was finished he quickly changed into his less heroic sweats (otherwise he would have been mobbed by the hordes of "little people" we call "children" and met up with a couple of his cast mates and had Starbucks...it was such a FUN FUN FUN afternoon!

[psst: one of the characters he plays in Little Mermaid is a STARFISH!]

So tomorrow morn, before Mark gets whisked away again to some other part of the states, we are going for breakfast @ 7:45am so he can get back in time for his show. Only for a friend would I EVER wake up that early... It was great to see you, dear friend, bless you with all that Father has for you!! Stay buried in Jesus...and remember we love you, we pray for you and we are always family for you... I can't wait till May where Marky Mark'll be back for 2 whole months! WOOHOO!! It'll be like Christmas!

The Gift

2006-12-27T22:44:00.002-05:00

Gifts.

They say it's one of my love languages. Tis true, i cannot deny my love for being Santa - all year round! To the point where I've had to learn to hold back after nearly bankrupting myself by giving without discernment, long-term consideration, strategic financing or really, any wisdom. (Bought an acquaintance a $50 purse + 15% taxes + $25 gift wrapping). I love gifts. I love to give them. I love the sheer delight on faces to whom i show my love and appreciation to through the carefully considered, tenderly thought-out, perfectly fitted present. When my sister tears up saying, "How did you know?"...it's priceless. I love gifts.

This Christmas, i began to ponder the Christmas Story. Practically "saved" from the womb, Christmas has become as cliche to me as "Jesus Loves You" ...like what does that even really mean? Especially since @ the age of 16 my entire world view was shattered after discovering Jesus wasn't even BORN on the 25th of December!! WHAT?? "Christmas is Jesus' birthday", "Jesus was God's only begotten Son"...was i expected to comprehend what "begotten" alluded to or implied or how this message even effected my life, today? So what? Other than an event that was created to make one feel guilty for not fully appreciating John 3:16, or a commercialized "holiday" where statistics are posted of the mass public duped into the marketing schemes of multibillionaires who are laughing all the way to the bank, what is Christmas? What does it mean when "they" - the super spiritual ones - say, "Jesus is the greatest gift of all!" I want to KNOW the significance of the stories I've heard repeatedly. I NEEDED to re-evaluate what I've repeated with my lips, bypassing my brain, let alone my heart, my whole life. What is Christmas?

This conundrum lead me to Luke 2:10-11:
"The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, i bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the town of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." (NASB)
Like a 3 yr old girl i asked, "Why, Daddy. Why?" And so, like any good Father would...He gently proceeded to break it down for me.

"Do not be afraid...": Contrary to my previous belief that the angels' announcement was to warn of their frighteningly ugly appearance...it was a declaration of peace and stillness to a tortured mind. Rest to the routine conflict of emotions, the immutable uncertainty of life. An end to fear being the only constant of our existence. Peace at last. Peace never known or experience before, was now mine.

"...good news of great joy...": No matter how wonderful, beautiful, exquisite or premeditated; i could never give my gift saying, "This is good news. This will solve that problem you've been having with your micro-managing boss who is obviously biased against you. This gift will stop all the heinous rumors and back room gossip you've had to suffer these past few months. Good news of Great joy, packaged in gold, wrapped in red ribbon! Tada!" I could never say that. My gifts only offer fleeting smiles and a depreciation rate faster than whipped cream left in the warm summer sun. I've got nothing. But Him? HE has a GIFT that brings me GOOD NEWS? That will cause a reaction in me of enormous, colossal, extravagant, excessive, abundant ecstasy, exultation, gladness, jubilance, merriment, rapture, ravishment, rejoicing, wonder of joy? WHAT? Does that emotion even exist on this planet? A gift that doesn't loose it's sparkle after the 1st use? A gift that could change my life? Really?

"...which will be for all the people...": ALL. He said, "ALL", did you hear that peoples? So this includes both you and me, AND that micro-managing, twit of a boss...? crazy.

"...there has been born for you...": Someone born, not for their parents, not for themselves, not for the really good old lady down the hall who gives stray cats a home...Someone, a PERSON born for ME? You sure about that? Why would a person be born for me? What's in it for you?

"...a Saviour...": Ahh... it all makes sense. I need saving. I need help. I need that hand to grab me with cat like reflexes from falling off this cliff. i need a hand much stronger than mine as I've lost all strength to hold on. i need a arm powerful enough to carry my dead weight out and pound my chest back to life. i need someone smarter than me to dig me out of the mess i drilled myself into. i need someone loving enough to melt this heart blackened with hatred. i need someone patient enough to cut through the vines of bitterness so tightly woven around my neck, i need someone wise enough to teach me to live again. I need Life alive enough to rescue me from my death. I do need a Saviour. I need Him, urgently. I need my Saviour more than i need my iPod, more than i need my purple alligator print shoes, i need my Saviour more than i need my make-up brushes from MAC...i need a Saviour. I need You. I need your gift. I desperately have been waiting and hoping my whole exisitance, for You.

I get it. Christmas means everything. Christmas means i am who i am today. A Daughter, full of love, hope, reason for living. A Saviour who is my Everlasting Father, Abba, Daddy! A little girl so spoilt and lavished with love by her Dad. A woman who knows she is Beautiful because her Father told her so. A human who's been given a new, fresh, real chance at Life...Life to the fullest, Life Abundant with the Giver of Life, Love Himself.

Wow. Thank you for Christmas. Jesus, thank you for your birth. God, thank you for giving me your only begotten Son. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for the Gift.

You've got to be kidding me!

2006-12-17T23:03:00.002-05:00

So thanks to the GORGEOUS, Fabulous, Super Sexy, Ab-Crunchingly Funny, Magical Mom Adele Richards...i stumbled upon this quiz. Quite entertaining, though equally disconcerting. I really don't know what to do with it! Let me know what you think??

Does this mean i still have an "F. O." on my forehead?? CRABNABIT!! ARG, when will this end???

It is true though...no one better mess with my posse...because then they mess with ME!!! And you don't want to see an angry Cho. Absolutely not! :)

Well, either way, i choose to reject such silly quiz results... Now do yours and let me know what you got! :) Hehee!! Go on, you know you want to!! Adele got the "Midas Touch" I would have to agree!! She is amazing... Let me know! Haha!!

I Just Want You Lord

2006-12-16T15:07:00.002-05:00

I've looked into the world
I've looking into the stars
There is no one like you, God

I've tried it on my own
I've tried to do things my way
I just can't live without you, God

I'm ready to listen
Ready to follow
Ready to give my life

I just want you Lord
You're all that i want
You're all that i need

I just want you Lord
There is no one else like you
I can't live without you, God.

Words and music by Jon Long.

Lyrics to a song i just cant get out of my head. I've been listening to it on repeat since i got it last night. It is THE passionate cry from my heart that just spills on to every thought, every word, every action, every desire! I just want you Lord! You're all that i want, You're all that i need! There's no one else like you and i can't live without you! I'm ready to listen, ready to follow! I'm ready to give you my life! All of me, surrendered to you, Jesus. Lord i am so desperate for you and more of you. Nothing else satisfies! Nothing else compares! I love you, i love you, i love you, Lord.

If you want to hear a clip of this song, it's on the new Freshwind: Passionate Life album that's just been released. www.myspace.com/freshwindpassionatelife

Decaf Triple Grande 5 pump Sugarfree Hazelnut Non-Fat Light Foam Extra Hot 3 Raw Sugar Latte

2006-11-13T22:44:00.001-05:00

...Or something like that.

So i am officially a Starbucks Barista as of November 6, 2006.
More detials to come...

Santa: I'm real, even check me!

2006-10-18T10:33:00.001-04:00

Ohhh, i love the internet. I seriously stumble accross the most random sites and am often thrown into the helms of concern for mankind.

Seriously. Check this site out.

Dundas Street West Cafe

2006-10-03T17:43:00.003-04:00

The sun is setting, barely touching the buildings in front of me. Just about to make it's landing before shying away behind the red brick across the street from the misplaced European cafe where I sip my latte. Contaned in a mini cup fittend with it's matching saucer, a midget handle and a wee hole just big enough for my index finger to slip through; Italian expresso in the ghetto.

My heart is soft. So soft.

An oversized woman with head shaved to a buzz struggles to twist open the bottle containing her OJ as she drops into the 50's inspired metal chair at the round white table opposite me. Mustard tank and glasses low on her nose, she unfolds the newspaper to where the last patron left off. It is peaceful with the music playing. A mellow soundtrack to my snapshot in time.

Oh, my heart is very soft.

It's a beautiful day when the music is playing. Music stops, the playlist concluded, reality aggressively snaps back into my perfect picture. I press the appropriate buttons and the music begins to play again. The day is saved.

Drinking back the last of my latte, lick off the bit of foam tracing my lip. Close my book, tuck my pens back in their place, shoulder my bag and walk to the beat of my personal rockband.

Ahhh my heart is soft, so soft.

Can't hold back my smiles, rebelling against my composure they burst from inside.

Today's been a beautiful day.

Short end of the stick...

2006-09-06T10:28:00.001-04:00

This 14-year old boy from Nepal is attempting to take my place in the Guinness World Records for the shortest person at 20 inches tall. Silly Khagendra Thapa Magar! What are you thinking, buddy?

Thankfully, they refused to consider him until he turns 18! Phew! TAKE THAT, little 20inch-10pound-singing-and-dancing-making-$4000-tiny-boy! You don't threaten me!!

WAH!! He is sooooo cute! You can't tell me this minature man is not adorable! CARP! Someone needs take that $4000 and install some survallence. He's endagered of Paris Hilton poaching and holding him hostage in her purse with his head poking out. 5 buck says she'll replace the hat with a pink bow and call him "Sugar Plum".

Click Here for the full story.

That's Me!

2006-08-25T02:26:00.001-04:00

Hold the punch-lines! I happen to be quite proud of this one.

all thanks to Jonathan and Maija Puddle

Now we must've gone too far...

2006-08-21T23:47:00.002-04:00

I am all for relevant, wholesome alternatives for our kids. Heck, Jesus knows we need them. With people like Paris, Lindsey and 50 Cent as our current role models and the false realities of this world infiltrating our perception of the true realities of God and His kingdom, I love healthy alternatives for our kids. In fact, I look forward to the day when I take advantage of some of these myself. But I find that there is always the fine line between wholesome and over-the-top, righteous and religious, resourcing and profiting, edifying and exploiting.

Then I get presented with something like this. Almost too funny to take seriously then feeling bad for mocking to questioning it's original intent and current contribution. I don't know. You tell me...try to without cracking a joke. :)

Other Fabulous Sites: Happy shopping!

Armor of God PJs

Wholesome Wear

Solid Light: for the body of believers

Latter-Day Creations

If you find more great alternative sites please submitt them. Thanks.

Mass email from Deutschland!

2006-07-05T15:42:00.003-04:00

Hey "most incredible friends in the entier world!!!",

The sound of football (soccer) and cigarette smoke whaft through the room as my superb touchtyping skillz are unapplogetically challenged i write you on a disfuctional keyboard where the "z" is in the place where the "y" should be and even the " symbol is in the WRONG PLACE!!! ARG...my speed is so challenged that it is frustrating me...hence, any time from now on where you see a "z", prentend it's a "y" and vica versa...hey, i'm just helping you practice your espionage code cracking skillz!!...;) Now i am happz!

So how are zou all doing?? We arrived in Frankfurt safe and sound! The hostel is a bit wonkz but fantastic considering the location in the center of the citz...the football craye is phenominal and God is so amaying, zet we have seen and experienced manz a strange thing alreadz on our first daz!

§10. Ice tea is the equivilent of $3.50 canadian...zikes!
§9. There are palm trees in GERMANZ!!
§8. I thought Torontonians are soccer crayz...i was WRONG! Ö= , i mean :)
§7. Germans have zummz pasteries!!
§6. Zou can get beer ÄtoßgoÄ...i mean "to-go"...darn kezboard!
§5. ÄHez, what are zou doing__Ä Thatös what it would look like if i was tzping on this kezboard as if it was a normal standard one from back home!! Too funnz!! Whatäs the deal with that__...
§4. Realiyed how much we apprecated the "no smoking in-doors" law in Canada...everzone chain smokes inside!! aahhh!
§3. Everzthing on the internet is in German, so having to wade through clicking all the wrong options and having to hit the "back button" 3million times is quite an adventure...
§2. Fell asleep at the park on the grass bz the river with the hobos for a few hours due to a desperate sleep deprivated state, i felt one with the earth...

§1. We saw an old man sunbathing with a thong-speedo.

Zah, i am sure there are much more interesting things i could point out and talk about, but i am tired and thurstz and needing to get back to mz team...so i shall update again soon!! Love zou all, Linda

Obsessive Compulsive Mac Lovers R' Us

2006-06-21T00:27:00.001-04:00

this laugh is brought to you courtesy of miss Aubery Hunter

today i say, "thank you"

2006-06-19T01:14:00.002-04:00

...for being the dad i never knew, and the dad who always knew me. today, i celebrate my permanent place in your pocket, the grove shaped like me, where i fit, where i am safe in your heart. father, you pursued me till i couldn't run anymore and had to give in to your love. you tore down every wall and taught me to not be so grown up, you showed me there is more than me fighting for me...you showed me your permanent spot on my corner of the ring, holding the towel i was just about to throw in. how do you do that? how do you go beyond - past my thorns, through the forest, defeat my dragon and come after the little girl scared and trapped in the tower way up high? How do you know the combination to my heart, the way to woo me from my hiding place? you claimed me when no one else would look my direction. you picked me as your first choice when i was nothing but dejected rack of bones. you gave me a name when i didint know who i am. you taught me to smile, you pulled me out of myself, you made me laugh and most of all, you showed me love - true love. so patiently, so gently, so tenderly...you tell me it's ok...and now i follow you all my life. you have ruined me for life. you are stuck with me for life. nothing compares to you, not even life. i am hooked on you and i can never go back, i've gone beyond the point of freedom of choice, i want to give everything to you, holding nothing back...everything to you...i never knew life until i was caught by you...so without you, there is no life for me. i would rather die than be without you or to have anything before you...because nothing matters more to me than being who i am, who i never thought i could be, who you say i am, who i now know i am, who i cannot be anything other than, you insist that i am...a daughter. YOUR daughter. i couldnt even daydream of a better name, a better home, a better place, a better dad...than you. oh, how i love you. happy father's day!!

"my daddy can beat up your daddy!" - i've always wanted to say that!

Texas Baby!

2006-06-14T16:01:00.002-04:00

Yes, we made it all down, safe and sound! I got to Air Canada it down on Tusday, but the worship team were stuck in two tin cans for over 24 hours from TO to TX!! After being stuck in Oklahoma for a life-time, the rest of the crew (hunter and the sweet band) discovered a time portal that transported them directly to our motel sometime last night...whew! So we have united and today is a fabulous day off!

So far, us girls (Laura, Aubrey, Bonnie, Kathryn, Caroline and I) went to paradise...hem, I mean, ROSS. For those of you who are still deprived of the experience called ROSS, let me explain it to you. ROSS is a store which can be compared to our "Winners", only 5 million times better. You see, generally speaking, I despise Winners, with a passion so great it can melt wax. When I go there with my girlfriends (all who adore this particular franchise) I feel like a boyfriend. Sitting on a display with the glaze look of boredom blanketing the eyes and an occasional plea of "are we done yet?" escaping the lips is a pitiful picture of ME @ Winners. Seriously. I have, unfortunately, some how, missed out on the gift that comes with being a women - a radar like honing mechanism for bargains and filtering sensors that can sift through racks upon racks of clothing at turbo speed then "tada!" finding that one-of-a-kind top with the detail to die for! I just can't do it! For me it's as pleasant as taking a razor to my eyebrows...pure torture. But for some reason, I love ROSS. It has the most FABULOUS shoes (kenneth coles, maddens, chinese laundry, nine west...etc) for CHEAP! AND today I actually branched out into the clothing section, man...my cart overfloweth! So surprising, I had to stop myself after the 3rd row because I already had enough suff in my cart to clothe the VonTrap family singers for a whole year! In the end, I walked away with 4 pairs of shoes and like 8 tops for the same amount I would spend in Toronto on ONE pair of snazzy pumps! So amazing!

Then...we all went to an AWESOME tex-mex (more 'mex' then 'tex'...making it that much more authentic!) restaurant for lunch, so delicious! I love it here! I have already been to 2 tex-mex establishments, and both places served bottomless tortilla chips and SPICY SPICY salsa!! This is definitely my kind of place! One eatery even served "table-side guacamole"...meaning you see them mix n' mash the avacado 'n company up in front of you...so fresh. WOW! Gosh, I have been to the USofA on countless occasions and this is the first time I have truly thought, "this feels really good, I really like this place!". I think Texas is fast becoming my favorite state, and would you believe, ROSS had nothing to do with it!! HONEST! :) I think it's because Texas actually has a lot of culture. Everywhere else in the states feels like white bread...nothing wrong with white bread, but its just plan ol' store bought bread. It feels as though there is no real distinction between the state-lines. In fact the USA boasts of itself as a "melting-pot", where all cultures become one. So using the "white bread" analogy, all the flour, wheat, grains and seeds are ground up together then bleached = white bread. But I feel as though Texas has kept it's Americanisms and I really like it. I like seeing the American culture in it's concentrated form. I feel like I understand our neighbours to the south better. I really like that. hmmm...

Tomorrow we go to the Stockyards, where true cowboys ride their horses to the local pub who has saddles for stools and where long-horned bulls share the street with the town folk...now that's got to be a whole other experience! :) Will definitely update you on that one! :)

Hope you are doing well...more updates to come. Pray for us while we are down here, that GOd will just explode His love and all that He is on Freshwind Texas...we are but empty jars of clay filled with His treasures! Love, Linda

After much deflection to impulsive poetry...

2006-06-06T00:02:00.001-04:00

Ever feel as though your depth is not nearly deep enough? Yup, I am having one of those moments...What do I have to offer? I guess I have gotten so used to myself that I am now bored with my repertoire, like a wardrobe full of last years clothes that don't inspire you anymore, throwing down piece by piece...exclaiming, "I have nothing to wear!" when clearly, the mountain of fabric suggests otherwise.

I know the truth. I know that God has put so much in me that even I have yet to discover, but right now...I feel as though a whole evening awaits and I have nothing to wear...

On a much lighter note...There is this Irish Pub called Whelan's Gate across the street from my building and there were real live polka dancers (uniforms, red caps and all) bouncing and knocking sticks, waving towels in choreographed unison to real polka music played through a boom box performing out on the street tonight! How crazy is that? I bet you can't boast of such treats in your community... Hahaa! Yes, we had fun! :) That had to be the highlight of my week!

Solitude in the stairwell

2006-06-05T02:32:00.002-04:00

A pinch of salt and mascara
Liquid cascades dipped by my lashes
Smears on my jogging pants
Paint misshaped strokes of a moment
I had with you

Pain is no threat though I hurt
Kisses are You down on one knee
Wrapped around my wounds
More pain guarantees the tighter grip
Of your arms

I only gain to be crying
Never complain when I’m laughing
Whether sleeping, dancing, bleeding
No boundaries of separation
For only You are my constant

run into you

2006-05-11T16:55:00.001-04:00

I am doing just fine
Having you wander through my mind
What are you saying
What are you doing

Delightful is my curiousity
Endangered is my vulnerablity
How do i soften my skin
Disarm and let you in

I dont know how
Screaming out loud
Teach me to stay
Hold me from flying away

Fleeing my nest
Into your chest
I am safe
I am saved

As i run into you

only you

2006-05-08T11:26:00.001-04:00

you are so near to me
you are so near to me
you are so near to me

yet so far

i've allowed the noise inside
i've allowed the noise in my life
to distract me from your eyes

and now i'm sinking

so help me
so help me
so help me

hold my head up high

out of the deep black waters
i wanna walk out of here with you
i want to walk out of here

only with you
only with you
only with you

Melancholy Cries

2006-05-08T11:22:00.001-04:00

You are Beautiful
Oh my sweet God
You make all things You

What you touch, shines
What you breath, sings
What you look, lives

Oh my beautiful God
My wreckage displays
My desperation to be made

So touch, breath, look
At me now
So I shine, sing, live
In your eyes

Week #2 - The Wedding: 03/05/06 - 03/10/06

2006-03-29T18:16:00.002-05:00

Ok, time for a new post.

I have the most amazing and gorgeous girlfriends. Some of them are still single, which I have no idea why...I think it's because the guys around here are either blind or blinded. One or the other. Nevertheless, some of their eyes have been opened. PErfect ExaMple: William Delaney.

Sarah Nickling is simply stunning. But she's not just the "Whistle-my-brains-out-oh-my-god-she-is-so-hot" type stunning, but "double-edged" stunning cuz she is just as striking on the inside. She is loving, generous, fun, kind, sincere, understanding, CREATIVE, caring, loyal, godly, passionate, gorgeous, funny, tender, affectionate, smart, fashionista, photographer, graphic designer, web genius, song writer, pianist, funky, cool, fabulous, sexy, happy, sporty, girly...oh god, shall I continue or do you have the idea? Did I mention she even snowboards and took me to my first screamo concert? HELLO?! She is so amazing!

So here she is...Miss Stunning herself minding her own business and gets hijacked by this HANDSOMELY, TOO-GOOD LOOKING, JESUS-LOVING, HUNKY, HOT-STUFF named William Delaney. Now, he is equally double-edged, but if I get into all his qualities this blog post will truly never end. For the sake of not causing you to stumble from reading too much about this dynamic duo AND to save my fingers from continuous writing...I will leave the "Billy praises" for Andrew Gazaneo to do, when and if he can...

Moving along. After many months of emails, texts, phone calls, visits, dates, and make-outs, Billy pops the question, gets a squealing and resonating "YES", more make-outs and Da Dum Da DUm...Da Dum Da Dum.... WEDDING BELLS!!

Sarah asked me one of her bridesmaids and I was SOO honoured to be one of her girls. The wedding prep before the big day was as crazy as you would expect, but we had so much fun setting up, decorating, last minute preps...etc. But the MOST fun we had was the night before her wedding, we took Sarah out and made her to the most ATROCIOUS things...yes, we do call ourselves her friends...hahaa!! She was such a good sport and we had such a great laugh...all I can say is, we are all probably banned from the local Oakville Walmart and the security guys probably had a hoot watching us roll on the floor and harass the customers with our giggles and cheeky pranks. Yah, it was soo good!

March 10, 2006: The day Sarah Nickling became a Delaney. She was stunning. WOW... WOW WOW WOW! The wedding was beautiful, magical, everything you would imagine a wedding to be... I am so pleased to say, Sarah and Billy are two of my dearest friends and will always be.

Now I just can't wait to see their cute kids... JUST KIDDING!! I know, Sarah...I know.

By the way, this last photo is a desperate attempt in my part to look remotely "sexy". Unfortunately, i only look like something out of "Phat Farm"...yah, pitiful...i thought you would like it! Hahaa!!

Spring

2006-03-27T17:34:00.001-05:00

Pretty little girl
Her world has just gotten brighter
Sunlight too white for her eyes
Squinting in pure delight

Swinging to the harmonies
Of the breeze dancing through her skin
Smiles her lips cannot reach
Ecstasy exploding within

Never knew it could be
Just as she hope
Just as she dreamed
Spring is here for me.

Week #1 - Catch the Wave: 02/28/06 - 03/05/06

2006-03-20T22:31:00.001-05:00

Surrounded by 17 candy wrappers - 13 Andes mint chocolate wrappers, one whistle pop, one Reeses peanut butter package (3 cups) and various other junk food can you say I am stressed? Or am I stressed? Though the past three weeks have been a whirlwind, my stress is more emotional than physical, so only Jesus can deal with that one...haha! Whoosh, at least it's in good hands.

So now, after filling my belly with junk, high on sugar, before I crash I am going to try and tackle the giant mountain of writing a new blog entry with some substance and I will attempt to update you on the past 3 weeks of my life...

Week #1 - Catch the Wave Cruise (not in chronological order)

-Conference was incredible
-Bill Johnson, Heidi Baker, Lindel Cooley, John and Carol, Georgian Banov...all so amazing!! God challenged me to no end through them and their messages and worship!!
-God totally healed me of Sea Sickness...the worst feeling in the world!
-God used me to heal a lady with continuous pain in her knees and elbows! 100%
-Outreach to Jamaica was amazing!
-Fed over 4000 chicken dinners to locals of Montego Bay
-Nearly got mobbed by some of the people, but PTL I was safe.
-Loads of people got healed, delivered, saved, and loved on! God is so good!!
-Snorkeled with Sting Rays in the Grand Caymens
-Lost my newly bough cowboy hat to the sea, blown away by the wind in slow motion...so sad!
-Had to wear a fluorescent green t-shirt to be visible to the conference attendees that we were on staff with Catch the Wave...had a moment of "living sacrifice"...that's all I will say about that.
-Organized and conducted a singles party with Blake...let's just say, the youngest "single" was probably 35...it was fun though, really fun. But an older lady approached me at the end of the cruise and said that the mixers were not suited for the older crowd. I agreed.
-Never seen such vivid and stunning colours in nature before, such as turquoises, fluorescent royal blues and purples...it just wowed me again of the creativeness and greatness of my God!
-Eat at the most incredible Italian restaurant on board - 17 courses...need I say more? All I can say is, I now understand why they say seafood is an aphrodisiac...too much of it is dangerous stuff!
-Had major identity crisis, then identity healing through another intense and much needed father heart revelation. He worked some really deep stuff in my heart! WOW, thank you Lord!
-Got to meet some awesome young adults on ship and minister to them and just love on them...it was great!
-Learned how to play Blackjack...made enough money to cover my whole ship bill...$50USD...score!
-Went on a 2 hr + walk in Miami after midnight with Blake and Sean...so much fun. Great conversations...
-Had some of the most incredible God times of this year through this week in the Caribbean.
-Learning to love myself in new and beautiful ways...Learning to see myself in new and beautiful ways...

IF YOU WANT SOME DETAILS...READ ON!

I have never seen turquoise in nature. I have never witnessed fluorescent royal blues and purples. I have never been so wowed by the beauty, creativity and the greatness of our God. The water was something I have never seen - it was breathtaking. Yet the most heartstopping moment of it all was while I was contemplating by the side of the ship, watching the waves roll, my Jesus spoke to me and said, "Linda, all of this is for you. These waves are for you, this sky is for you, the stars sparkle for you...they are all for you. If I would splash all of my creation and the beauty of this world for you, what would hold me back from giving you my best?" That was a pretty silent moment in my heart. I am still trying to grasp.

We had an amazing outreach to Montego Bay, Jamaica on the Thursday of the Conference. Over 200 of us paraded through downtown Montego Bay worshiping through the streets. Any person we saw we would pray for, hug, kiss and just love on with Christ. We saw awesome healings and miracles, deaf boy was completely healed...etc. Then the procession made its way to the Beach where the rest of the 700 Catch the Wave attendees meet us in tents for Healing, Deliverance, Prayer, Salvation and Food as well as a huge stage set up with professional sound system for a worship concert on the beach. I was a part of coordinating one of the food tents which ended up being one of the most intense locations. At one point, I was even doing crowd control and this older gentleman who was in charge of organizing the crowd turned to me and said, "Wow, I really like you. I don't care what anyone else says, I like you." I thought for a second, slightly annoyed replied, "I don't care what anyone else says either!" and went on sorting out the people for food. Later on he complimented me by saying how surprising it is to see such a young girl with so much authority...what do you say to that? I just shrugged and pointed to Jesus. Seriously, my friends who've known me for years would say I was the shiest little thing around!! :) Well, I guess that's not the case anymore...PTL.

God did some more amazing Father heart stuff with me. I realized how much I lived in independence and on orphan spirit completely performing to not perform, and striving to not strive. So Daddy once again showed me his love and taught me how to let go, and let him. I am still practicing that, and learning it...daily.

I had a great time with the young adults on the ship. I was scheduled to be an alternative to the conference if the young adults didn't want to be in the services, but we found that everyone really wanted to hear Heidi Baker, Bill Johnson, John and Carol...Including myself...so though I would go to the room we were scheduled for and stayed there for 15 minutes, we all ended up staying in the service in the end. the great thing was, I was able to pray with them, love on them, dance with them, eat meals with them and even talk about the questions they had about the Lord till 2 in the morning. So my young adult program looked slightly different then expected, it was so God and he did some amazing stuff.

The ship was absolutely beautiful...I am so hooked on cruising. If anyone tells you it is not the idea vacation, they have either been on Carnival or are lying. So much fun. Go on Star Princess...such a beautiful ship! Such amazing service. Every morning I had all the exotic fruit I wanted for breakfast, particularity papayas...I love papayas. But one morning, I got to the breakfast bar a bit late and there were none left. So I just said out-loud to myself, "Oh, no more papayas!" and one of the waiters heard me say that and came up from behind me and said, "Do you want papayas? I'll get you some!" Took my plate and filled half of it with the delicious orange/pink goodness! He really didn't have to! He could have walked away and I would have never known he heard me...but he didn't! I was so impressed. And our housekeeper was the sweetest thing! Everynight, they turn your bed over and leave a chocolate on your pillow...but Nancy, our housekeeper went over and above to make us feel special. She would make flowers and heart shapes with lots of chocolate (always a great way to a woman's heart) and would make cute figures with our PJs and just was the sweetest to us every time we saw her. She was genuinely kind and man, did we appreciate her!!

I got really sea sick on the second day. I felt dizzy, nauseous, like I was going to throw up, couldn't open my eyes or put a sentence together...I was so sick I could barely stand. As I went into the main meeting room to find a friend of mine who had some sea-sick meds...I got surrounded by so many loving people who just started to pray for me. John Arnott saw me so sick and after laying his hand on my head he advised me to go to the ship doctor and get a shot which would sort me right out. Susan, beautiful friend, offered to take me down to the doc and as we were walking, I thought to myself, I wouldn't be surprised if I got healed on my way to the doctor...and that is exactly what happened!! God totally and completely healed me of my sea sickness before I even got down to the medics. I also prayed for a lady with really bad pain in her knees and elbows and she got completely 100% healed! God is so cool! IT was awesome, God was so strong...it was such a great experience!

Blake and Sean Malone forgot to get back on the ship after being dropped off in Cozumel for the day. They were totally going to be left on the island until the captain of the ship asked to see the names of who were left behind and realized Blake was VIP and turned the ship around to pick them up...hahaa!! Only Blake was VIP for logistical reasons to get him on board before the conference attendees on the first day, rather than for any grandiose reason...hahaa!! So it ended up saving him and Sean in the end!! :) So funny, ask him for the details...he says it so great!

What else...yah those green shirts, I hope no one involved in making it will read this...infact, this update is so long I hope no one has made it this far, but those green shirts we had to wear had NO REDEEMING QUALITY about them. I tried so hard to find something positive...the only thing I could come up with was, "The Jamacians will love them!" and in the end, discovered not only did they love them, the Catch the Wave attendees LOVED them. We all got asked, "where did you get your shirt??" by so many people...it was hilarious. In the end, I "blessed" someone with it and gave it away. They walked away extremely pleased!

Worship was phenomenal on the ship. Most of our main meetings were in the Outdoor theater at the back of the ship with the wind blowing in our hair...you just felt the presence of God so think in the room...I don't think I've ever experienced a moment where I felt, "This must be a glimpse of what Heaven is like!"...

CTW was so much fun...there is so much more to talk about, but I probably should post on-line. IF you want more details, come and talk to me. Chances are, I've already detailed you out. If you have read this all to the end, you deserve a HUGE prize...come and claim it. Haha!!

Love you. Tommorow, or in the next couple of days: Week #2 - The Wedding

Pummeling Robbie

2006-03-09T09:28:00.001-05:00

Blush

2006-03-05T14:17:00.002-05:00

Brushing by at the bus stop
Whistling your melodies
Made up in your mind
So fresh so divine

Words to describe
Fall by the wayside
All that remains is
The tune that you hide

Why do you sing when nobody's listening
Turn down your voice to a pause
Why do you blush like caught in a crime
Let me hear you sing tonight

Beautiful songs sung tonight

Coldplay and Beyond...

2006-02-24T15:42:00.002-05:00

Ahhh...Coldplay. Something about their music gets inside of me, and I absolutely love them. Yellow is one of my many favorite songs of theirs and it was incredible hearing it live, in Detroit, with HUGE yellow balloons falling from the ceiling, filled with gold confetti...Yah, that was a sweet moment. Then at the end of Clocks, they start to speed up a bar of music, faster ..... faster .... faster ... faster .. faster . faster fasterfasterfaster..... Unbelievable! The played a set of their best, and man, every penny and every minute spent getting there was completely worth it!

Their encore was the best part of the show where they played Swallowed by the Sea (I LOVE) and In My Place (I LOVE) and Fix You (I LOVE MORE!!) It was just plain wonderful! I used to always say this, but Chris Martin is the only rockstar I would ever marry...not that I ever would...but hypothetically speaking. Hhahaa! Actually, he's probably the only celebrity I would marry...hmmm...interesting... I realize my old obsession with Orlando and Brad is just that...old. YAY, I am officially over that phase.

On to other things...only one more sleep and my life goes into fast forward! AHHH....Though I am looking forward to the next three weeks with so much joy and anticipation...I am also holding my breath and bracing myself for the whirlwind. I am excited to see what God will do and what I will be like on the otherside...I know, that sounds dramatic...like, Linda, it's only 3 weeks...but I feel as though God has me poised to go through a carwash, or my life being put upside down!! So wow, Lord, whatever!

I probably wont be able to post anything till I get back, but I will be taking lot's of photo's and will try and post them as I go along! Mucho love-o to my friends and blog-readers... :)

Oh Canada!

2006-02-20T22:57:00.002-05:00

An·ger

2006-02-20T12:29:00.003-05:00

an·ger (nggr) n.
A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

Ephesians 4:26 (NASB)
BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger

Psalm 4:4 (NASB)
Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.

Psalm 4:4 (NIV)
In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah

Besides doing a theological and theoretical comparison between the NIV and the NASB (the bible that Jesus used...) I realized my irratibility, frustrations and shortness that was expressed through taking it out on my my fam was not just the 3 lettered acronym used to excuse away bad behavior once a month (it's like a "get out of jail free" card! haha!!) but something much deeper. So, I got real with God and allowed him to search my heart. I discovered I was, plain and simple, angry.

I tried to deal with it the best way i knew how: ignor it - at least for sake of innocent bystanders!! Hahaa...yah, like that worked!! Hahaa!! So how do we, as sons and daughters of the God of LOVE, express our anger and not sin? How do we deal with anger in our hearts without sliming others or shoving it further into our hearts? How do we let the Holy Spirit clean out the bad every-single-time?

I don't know the answers. All I know is I finally connected with the Lord and I let him take over. God has started a really good work, and I know he is faithful to complete it. I want to end with the verses that follow the ones I posted earlier...it gave me a new perspective, and I think holds the key to my questions.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NASB)
26 BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.

Psalm 4:4-5 (NASB)
4 Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.
5 Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And trust in the LORD.

Psalm 4:4-5 (New International Version)
4 In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah
5 Offer right sacrifices and trust in the LORD.

Operation "Linda's Life"

2006-02-13T23:50:00.001-05:00

I realized I needed a life. And going to church, work and replying to emails does not remotely resemble that of a 24 year old's adventurous, spunky, fantastic "Life". So I decided to do a major overhaul!

Instead of waking up at 11am on my days off (I know, you 9-5 peeps must be really jealous right now!) I decided I was going to get up at 6:30 in the morning and start my day afresh. Wash up, drink my potions (greens), drink my tea (green), do my dishes, reply to emails, quiet time, read my bible - all in time to leave my apartment at 9:45 for my boxing class. Then back home for 12, shower and off to the office or other exciting adventures for the day.

Last week was my trial week, and I did GREAT! I think I slept in once till 7 but that wasn't too bad. So, other resolutions of mine for 2006 go as follows:

1. Do what I intend to, rather than being a woman of great intentions and no actions (eg. Send letters to my oversea friends - Jane, Bailey...etc, prophetic evangelism, make cards...)
2. Do what I have ALWAYS wanted, but have been afraid to. (Such as get my 3 tattoos and my M license this summer!! WOOHOO!)
3. Stop being late. (Which I must say, I have greatly improved in!)

So last Thursday, I thought to myself, "Heck, we just learned about God's Kindness as a part of our series on the Fruit of the Spirit @ Central by the FABULOUS AJ Jones, a kindness that can sometimes be random, yet so powerful in changing a life that I thought to myself...I am going to go OUT and do it!!" :) I even had a picture of meeting a girl on the street and treating her to some yummy, delicious, chocolate and strawberry crepes!!

I red rocketed down to Queen Street and walked from Osgoode to Bathurst and entered all the cool shops I always "INTENDED" to (practicing #1) and even entered a TATTOO parlor (#2), that Cleetus Adrian referred to me while he was in Toronto, to look at some designs of the artist there, entered NUMEROUS bead shops that Bethany V always told me about and was just stunned by the selection and colour...wow, and found the craziest and most fascinating things at a Gaget store I have never noticed before in all my years as a Torontonian!! It was AWESOME!!

Along the way, I got to talk with three guys on the street, bought them all coffee to keep warm, gave them some money (I know, controversial but we are called to love not cynicism, right??) and just chatted! It was great! I felt like I was really making progress in doing #1...because I want to so desperately reach out to my city and see revival in Toronto. It was funny though, the first guy I met was Jason, then the second guy I met was ALSO Jason, and by that time I thought, "Is that like a code name that people on the street use to mock us naive strangers for even asking their names??" Thankfully, I met the 3rd guy and his name was Jeremy...so I felt much better! Fake name or not, at least there was SOME originality left in Toronto! haha!! Unfortunately, I didn't meet my girl...so I am going to keep going out till I find her for some pancakes!

I also have TONS to look forward to in the next 4 weeks!!

1. Coldplay Concert in Detroit on the 22nd (YAH BABY!! "God put a smile upon my face!")
2. Catch the Wave CRUISE!! Yah, so what I'm working a young adults program? ...that effectively means, "Hey everyone, let's meet at the rock-climbing wall, or let's soak by the pool!!" And suffering for the gospel by politely forcing myself to eat lobster, shrimp and steak...yah, so hard!
3. SARAH NICKLING'S WEDDING!! The week I fly in from the cruise is going to be a hectic and busy, but the best part of being a bridesmaid is to see one of your closest friend's dream come true, first-hand and behind the scenes...it will be unforgettable!!
4. 5am, the morning after the wedding...up and ready to take a team of 20-30 youth down to New Orleans on a mission trip to help with the relief work from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina!
5. Then back home to my crazy life as a pastor of the BEST Church in the WORLD...TACF Central!! Back to the people I love, the home I love, the church I love, the friends I love, the family I love...and best of all, I will have a kickin' tan! Hehee!!

Ok, slap me if I've been rubbing it in...sorry. I am just so stoked. Don't worry, after I get back from New Orleans, my life goes back to normal... :)

I love you all, I miss you LOTS and I am sorry I have been away for so long...Dave Richards, your comment finally kicked my butt and I thought, man, I need to do this. I will be back...soon!

And I Sing...

2006-02-13T23:37:00.001-05:00

You give me your hand
You ask me to step
You swing me around
And I laugh

Oh how beautiful you are
Oh how beautiful you are

You climbed up a tree
To rescue me
You saved me from myself
And I breath

Oh how beautiful you are
Oh how wonderful you are

Look into your eyes
Scared out of my mind
You don’t turn away
And I cry

How do you know me so well
How do you know me so well

So I sing

The cell meeting that lasted till tommorow

2005-12-23T02:19:00.001-05:00

It is 2:20am and i walked through the door only 20 minutes ago...yes, we didnt leave D&Ks house till 12:40am and they live all the way up past civilization. The mighty Kevin A drove the feirce Jon L home then instead of droping me off @ the subway station as i insisted with my mighty claims of, "Oh please, i'll be fine!!" he over-ruled my demands and drove me all the way home!! (thank's Kev...now that's coffee #3! Dont worry, i'm keeping count!) So here i am, safe and sound, too tired to actually lay my head.

It was a great cell meeting. There were only 7 of us, as opposed to the regular 16-20 and we had 5 full hours of great conversations on leadership, ministering to each other, how to solve conflicts and MANY MANY MANY laughs!! I love the fact that i am being pastored, mentored, cared for and just nurtured in my walk as a daughter and as a pastor. I am so blessed by my leaders and though tonight was a very long night according to the clock, we didnt even notice! The time flew by and we were even reluctant to walk out their door and only had comments on what a wonderful time we had on our way back into the city!

I look forward to this Christmas break where i get to hang out with D&K some more, go skiing, hanging and just being loved through all my ish, all my questions, all my leadership faux pas as well as triumphs...i look forward to all that God has for me in 2006. It's gonna be a great year!

The weather outside is frightful...

2005-12-11T00:55:00.001-05:00

It is only 2 weeks till Christmas, and 3 till my Birthday, but i feel so incredibly out of it. As in, i didnt even realize it was so close to Christmans until Laura mentioned it today after our shopping extravaganza this afternoon as we rested in the comfort and glow of our starbucks lattes and people watching on Queen Street.

Oh dear, i still had not gone Christmas shopping for ONE SINGLE PERSON!! Now this is not a good sign, friends. I am one of those crazy people who hate the Christmas rush, so purchasing all her christmas gifts in OCTOBER! And this is the middle of December and i had not even one creative juice in my mind as to how i wanted to express my love and gratitude to those nearest and dearest to me. That is bad, because i ususally am visualizing the PERFECT gifts as soon as i incline to give it some thought. All i wanted to do this year was purchase a stack of gift cards/vouchers and hand them out...ouch...so impersonal, so uncreative (though personally, i wouldnt mind it myself, but) it is no expression of how i truly feel about the incredible friends and family that i have.

So, today, after dropping Laura off at her lovely new apartment, mom and i went on a "part 2" shopping extravaganza to Yorkdale where i did most of my Christmas shopping in 3 hours. That is quite a feat...so i feel better now. The great thing is, i was still feeling uninspired so i called on my "teacher", "helper", and the smartest, most loving, most creative person i know...the Holy Spirit to help...and so it was great. Only, i realized that i had completely neglected the fact that i still have to pay rent this month, and i had failed to put some money aside for it this paycheque. Alas, all is good. it just means either i will be homeless, or i need to pull from my savings...the latter, not being such a big deal.

So, i go home, to look at all the presents i will be giving away...yay! can't wait!

Hope you all have a very merry Christmas, with more than just gifts but a lot of love, happiness and peace, remembering that Jesus came to set us free, cuz you are so worth it!

ARG

2005-12-11T00:50:00.002-05:00

grunt grunt...

all i want to do is grunt...argggg...

if i was a dog, i would growl, thank you Lord that i am not.

but i still feel like grunting, crinkling my noes, burrowing my brows and grunting.

arg.

The puck stopped here.

2005-12-03T22:45:00.001-05:00

Ugh...

My arm is off, my batting average has taken a nose dive, my points per game has screetched to a halt, i've been body-checked too frequently these past two weeks, i can't get on top of my game.

Help, Jebus, help!

Arg, anyone else felt this way? Remeady? Suggestions?? Maybe i just need a break...

Where's my Kit Kat?!

"Let my words be few"

2005-11-25T10:15:00.001-05:00

Quick snapshot of my life:

Healing Week
UGB/GB
Heart Hurts
Insides Happy
Encounter Weekend
Insides pulled out
Heart Nervous
Anxioty in Chest
Church
So Tired, Can't Breath
Sleep
Sleep
Life In Full Speed, again
Heart Sad
Attempting @ Lifestyle Change
Eating "Healthy"
Drank Green goop
Made me go...(rhymes with 'goop')
Contemplating mysteries of the heart
Reading Bible
Reading Godly Beliefs
Listening to 'Passion'
Cleaned Hallway, Kitchen and Bathroom...spotless!
Nice
Need to Clean Bedroom & Living space
Nice
Sermon prep
Interview this Afternoon
Leader's cell
Open Cell
Youth
Need to buy a dress
Need to buy gifts
Need to book driving test
Need to save for beach holiday
Need to do crunches
Need to cling to Jesus
Only place where i am safe...

I want cake...
White Chocolate
Fruit filled
Melt in Mouth
Cake...yum...

Back to the green goop

Thus far...

2005-11-15T23:39:00.001-05:00

On the eve of my much anticipated healing week, I am grateful. My life has changed and God is just so spectacular in my life.

Just this past weekend, I got the chance to organize the 1st of many outreaches for a SOM team to practice their ministering muscles on a mini-outreach to TACF Central.

Us women got to go to the YWCA in Scarborough with teen mothers and have a pampering afternoon for them. We gave these worn-out beauties facials, manicures, massages, make overs and even child care!! I think my favorite moment was when one of the ladies sat herself down at the "facials sation" and said, "Hit me baby! I even came prepared!" Pulled out her bandana, pulled her hair back, closed her eye and was ready to be spoiled...something that rarely happens to single mothers!! We brought home-made fingerfoods, gift bags and just loved on them both practically and with the love of Christ. The team did amazing!! They were stunningly awesome! These mothers were overwhelmed, and wiped off their feet, litterally!! (hahaa, we made them put their feet up on the coffee table whenever possible!!).

Andrew and the guys cooked bacon and eggs for the homeless at Good Neighbours Community Center, which was a huge treat, as these men were used to cereals, muffins and toast on the best of days. They too were overwhelmed!! Then, the guys spent the rest of the day prophetically evangelizing till they dropped...again, litterally! They had to get up at 5am to start their adventure, and by 5pm, they were sleeping under tables!! All reports came back; they were PHENOMINAL!! You guys are my heros!

Then on Sunday Afternoon, we all went to Dundas Square, setting up to give dream interpretations, "spiritual readings" and prayer. We got there just as two massive demonstrations were coming to an end. One, was a protest against the recent outbreak of gun violence in Toronto, and the other...a giant pillow fight, of all things!! Haha! So yah, we just sat down and talked with random people just loving on them, and believe me, it brought me alive!! That evening, at TACF Central - which by the way was packed out with over 120 people crammed into the Grovesner Room at the YMCA off Yonge and College - two of the dozen or so kids we talked to came to the church service...it was amazing. I got to sit with them on the floor at the back of the room, and i couldnt help but beam!! I was coming alive!!

Just a year ago, i confessed to my closest friends and colleages that i felt i had no passion or drive for my future, that the only thing i was excited about was my next meal...and i meant every word. Talk about depression! But here i was, nearly bursting out of my skin with excitment, life, joy, hope and PASSION!! Passion for Jesus, Passion for the hurting, Passion for the Lost, Passion to live again!!

This whole process of researching women's shelters and refuges for the homeless, i have discoverd what it meant to truly have life when you give it away. What Jesus was talking about when he said, "If you try and gain your life, you loose it, if you loose your life, you gain it." AAAHHH, this whole time i had it wrong! My contemplations of my future consisted of, "What can i do so that i can buy my CooperS as soon as possible?" or "What job would i love to do that will allow me to live cofortably?!" When really, life is found wherever Jesus is! For some, that does mean in the office-place or in the marketplace... For me, for now, it's in the street corners...where i get to meet some of the most cynical and hurting of Jesus' friends...so beautiful, so wonderful!!

Tommorow morning, i leave @ 7am for Stratford...a scheduled operation on my heart. I feel healthy and strong, full of life and love, but NOTHING is for Nothing in the Kingdom of God, and Nothing is a mystery or a suprise to Him. So the fact that i have an intensive healing session ahead of me, in a time of my life where i am most fulfilled, is a God inspired ambush! I am ready for whatever He has for me...i am ready for the elephants that are yet to be uncoverd and to live a life even MORE abundant as i am living today! My only prayer is that i would deal with everything and anything that needs to be dealt with...that none would hide or slip away in this joyous oblivion!! Jesus, you know my heart, do with it as you will...expose areas you are not Lord of, and take the throne of all of me!!

So see you all when i get back...next Monday!! In the meantime, i could use some intercession!! Hhaaha! Love you!

A city girl with a country crave

2005-11-04T23:25:00.001-05:00

Name: Linda Hope Cho
DOB: January 2, 19XX (for all you identity theives!!)
Location of Birth: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I have been a "Big City" chick all my life. Born and raised in Toronto, population: 4,000,000. Toronto is refered to as the "Mega City" of Canada and has no problems living up to it's name. I have always been proud of the fact that i could be watching TV, want something to eat, so during the commercial break, run downstairs, cross the street, buy a chocolate bar and run back up in time for the show to resume. Or how about boasting the fact that i could make it from my apartment to the Toronto Eaton Center, downtown, in 12 minutes flat riding the "Red Rocket"?? I have even been proud to complain about the 4 pubs and bars accross my street that have drunken men singing into the wee hours of the morning...keeping all the residents of this busy street in a sleepy swagger of frustration. Why? Cuz it's urban, it's buzzing, and there is never a dull moment!

I have always LOVED the fact that i have 500 driving schools to choose from, not 4. Or a Starbucks on EVERY CORNER of Yonge Street. Everything is accessable, everything is achiveable! There are multiple clones of popular retail chains all within a walking distance for my shopping pleasures. I love the variaty, the convenience, the bigness, the fact that every good concert comes through Toronto, not Hamilton, or Montreal...but, TORONTO!! Toronto is the happening place of Canada, the coolest city, the HOTSPOT!!

But with this Mega City...i have most recently been gutted with it's most painful flaw: The lack of community. After traveling to smaller towns in the UK, US and other parts of Canada, i realized something that i have come to crave in a desperate way. Friends that you can hang out with, just up or down the hill...a common place where you know your friends will always be, say you ever needed them in a moments notice...people knowing you and caring about you on a daily basis...the intimacy of friendship "crews" that hang out together all the time...the opportunity to like that boy, or find that girl attractive and be able to develope a freindship without having to do the 20 minute drive for an obvious coffee "get to know you better" event...a church family that knows it's every member and their children, cousins, aunts, uncles and where "your children are my children, lets care for them together..." type attitude...i really miss that. That closeness...that, "We are lucky to have a Tim Horton's, meet you there in 5." Maybe i am totally looking through rose tinted glasses, and i have completely fallen into the "Grass is greener syndrom" but i am realizing more and more, how little i am in such a big place.

My best friends live a 45 minute bus ride, and a 30 minute car ride away...everyone has their own lives, and you feel like to call them would be to intrude and every "hangout time" has to be planned and carefully charted out so that travel time is put into consideration and the time spent together would be substantial enough to warrent such a trek. Honestly, its really hard. Sometimes i just want to live in the country, or a small community, or at least a smaller town, with maybe only 2 Starbucks, a good Thai and Indian resturant, and a great mall. I could settle for only 2 driving schools if it meant a sense of belonging and community that was consistant, lovely and peaceful.

i dont know if i will always feel this way, but i do right now...so there, i wrote it all out... :) Dont get me wrong, i Love Toronto...and i want to see my city swept by God's love! My mind just wanders off into a dream sometimes...

Leenda, let's go to 'Jellus' (Zellers)

2005-10-30T00:06:00.001-04:00

"Mess-eh-gee"

"Message"

"Mess-eh-gee"

"No, mom, MESSAGE"

"Mess-age?"

"Yes! You got it!"

"Mess-eh-gee"

"NO!!!"

That has been the typical conversation with my dear mum lately. She immigrated to Canada from motherland, South Korea, 32 years ago. She understands English perfectly, can speak English quite well...but years and years of getting away with bad grammer and terrible pronounciation has finally come to a head. We are now trying to tackle a very strong and stubborn monster. I have been my mum's ESL teacher as of late, and it has been fun, fustrating and just plain flabbergasting!

ex: "Dis." "No mom, it's THis..T-H sound...TH!"

But my favorite one, by far, has been:

"Mom, you have to say the name of your dear Lord properly!! Je-sus!"

"Jee-juss!"

"Je-SUS"

"Jee-jeuss"

"JE-SUS"

"Gee-juss"

"NO!! JE-SUS, SUS, SUS!!! There is no other 'ju' sound!!! SUS, SUS, SUS!"

"SSUS"

"Yes!! JE-SUS"

"JEE [pause for intense consentration] SSUS."

"YAY!!!!"

Hahaa, oh how i love my mom...the sweetest thing is, when i get really frustrated with her, she just says, "I gonna keep trying and keep learning from sweet, sweet daughter, Leenda, even if she mad at me, be-cause i wanna speek En-guh-lishee popuhly like-uh, Leenda."

Smiling triumphantly, she looks to me for validation of her excellent use of words and professional pronounciation. It's at these moments i just can't help but smile, and all my frustration defuses immediately. I love my mom, and she is getting much better, every day. I look forward to having a convo with my mom-o without having to say, "'Pretty', mom, not 'pootie'!"

More than I am

2005-10-16T23:42:00.001-04:00

Lord I come to you
Sacrificing my will
Saying, “Lord, I need you more than I need me.”

Lord I trade with you
All my selfish gain
For your life laid down, what I want to be

Lord I lay before
Your throne of grace
My failures and hard-earned filthy rags

Lord I only want
To seek your face
Beyond the beauty I try so hard to make

Lord I want to thank
You for your smiles
Over me and my head bowed low in shame

You know me better
Than my nearest of friends
You know me more than I am

Lord you know me more than who I am…

Droopy eyes and slushy head

2005-10-12T23:34:00.001-04:00

Life flies past you, so quickly that you don't even have the time to stop and think, how am i doing?? It's weird. When i get asked that question from caring friends or interested strangers, i cannot honestly answer right off the top of my head. I tend to get caught off guard and think, "Yah, um, how am i doing? Fine, i think! Yes, doing just fine, thank you."

Ever get that? So how am i doing? Well, the major source of my grief growing up and for most of my life has been disfunctional situations and seemingly impossible obsticals that were strangly attracted to my family on a very regular basis. Basically, my family was the thermometer of my internal climate. You can choose anything but your family, and your family's problems are your own...vice versa. So no matter how "great" i may have been doing, if my family was in a rough place, so was i...if my family was on a good streak and i was in a bad place, my sisters and my mum were right there with me.

Why am i saying this? Well, if my family's joy or sadness determined the state of my soul, then i should be bouncing off the walls in sheer excitement right now! Which, in many ways, i am.

My family is doing great. I could not ask God for a better mom, or better sisters. I love them so much and am so proud of them, so proud to be part of this awesome foursome. As a family, God has restored us to a place we have never been nor experienced...it is WONDERFUL!! It's not just marvelous on the outside, but on the inside...not just when no one's looking, but shouted from the roof-tops. Skeletons have been cleared out, and a fresh new breeze of life, hope, restoration, joy, unity and LOTS and LOTS of LOVE are blowing open every window and door of our lives! That has been such a source of peace, and rest for me...all due to our Daddy God...thank you!

But there are lingering feelings of unrest, maybe even sadness... I dont really know the source, or the reasons why. For the first time in my life, i can truly say, "My life is great", and i feel spoiled by my Daddy!! ...but there is still that little tiny, almost unrecognizable itch; deep...deep where no one can see.

I have a good feeling that it is the effects of my busy life wearing on me and what is most important for my sustainablity: Spending time with the Author of my joy, the Healer of my family, the Spoiler of my life. I have seriously enjoyed His VERY good and perfect gifts, but the emptiness comes from lacking the companionship of the arm that held the suprises up His sleeves. I need that arm desperately. I need to know that i am held, that He calls me "Beautiful", "Valuable", "Precious", "Worthy", "Princess"..."Daughter." I desperately need that special dip on His shoulder that's reserved to fit my forehead...where i can rest in the security of His unending, unchanging, undepleting, consistant Love for me.

My love affair with Black

2005-09-27T19:13:00.001-04:00

Ahhh, what to do with my love of all things BLACK...

My first introduction to anything fashionably acceptable was at the age of 17 when I got my very first job at Club Monaco. Before that, I was notorious for wearing a cream mesh top, matched with a cream and brown plaid balloon shorts that were so high up the waist that it nearly reached my chest! Or my favorite pants: thick black jumbo cords with a poof, as an excuse for a space for womanly hips...something I definitely lack, more so then!! What other fashion atrocities can I tell you about?? There were many many faux pas...let me tell you.

So, back to Club Monaco...ahh, the job that saved my teenage career that was quickly turning to mud... THANKFULLY, at that time in Club Monaco's history, all their employees were required to wear the latest clothes from the store, so I was forced to go shopping with every paycheque, which in the end benefited my wardrobe to no end and added to the marvel of all my girlfriends who look on me with great pity. It was there, that I discovered my love of all things Black.

Black pants, black top, black blouse, black shoes, black bags, black turtleneck, black t-shirt....you get the idea. I would spice up my wardrobe once in a while with charcoal grey, denim, or the occasional white...if I was feeling really experimental, I would bring in a splash of blue, red, or burgundy...

I quit retail to attend the School of Ministry in the Spring of 2002. It was there I met people from all walks of the fashion runway. The American Eagle girl, the Gap-lover, the European babes, the country damsels, the thrift shop sheeks...and none of them wore black!! So I thought, there is something desperately wrong with me!! Is my love for black a blaring reflection of my deep, dark, hurting heart?? AAAHHH, God forbid!! So I went to American Eagle, I went to Gap, I went to all the trendy stores, I went to Kensington, I went to all these places and BANNED myself from anything in black.

I bought blues, greens, pinks, reds, oranges, yellows and in every different shade!! I was free!

Or so I thought...

Recently, I have been the best I have ever been in my whole life. God has brought me alive more than I knew could be possible!! It has been awesome. I have really learned to discover myself and who I am and what I love. And through that, I realized I LOVE SHOPPING!! hehe! And through my love of shopping, I re-realized my adoration with Black. Now for those of you who have eyes, you would be aware of the summer trend of the bohemian babe...the layers, the colours, the long necklaces draped 3-5 at a time, big belts... IT SCARED THE HECK OUT OF ME!! I don't know how to do BOHO!! My sisters look fabulous in it...but I CAN'T DO BOHO!! (Insert: weeping and wailing)

BUT, through the darkest cloud, I saw a shining ray of light...just passing through Chapters. I caught a glimps of the cover of a fashion magazine that read, "Bye, Bye Boho...Black is Back!!" [PRAISE THE NAME OF JESUS, PRAISE HIS MIGHTY NAME FOREVER!!]

So, recently I have gone shopping, recognizing that through the past few months I have given away half my clothes, if not more, and replaced them with articles in the colour that starts with "B", (no, not blue, or burgundy or brown...ends with a "lack")...so trying to diversify, and not cause the other colours to stumble with feelings of rejection, I have tried to pick up and convince myself that I enjoy this article of clothing in this particular colour. Do you know what I did yesterday?? ...exchanged it for Black.

So if, within this next fall/winter season, you see me in a lot of black (and denim), you know why...:) Just pray for me...

It's Official

2005-09-05T01:40:00.001-04:00

As of September 1st, i am a pastor. "Clergy" in the eyes of the Government.

I feel like God has me on this intense journey of discovering Him again, realizing my smallness and what it means to lay down my life for Him as well as others, letting the Holy Spirit have His way in EVERY area of my life!

It is an exciting journey...because i so desperately want to become like Him...

Good night, dearest friends, i love you.

ps. Sarah and Lee's wedding was sooo beautiful!

Cobblestones to Concrete Jungle

2005-08-22T19:52:00.001-04:00

Ah, back to the land where everything is all right. People drive on the right side of the road, pedestrians have the right of way (all the time), a $5 price tag means $5-rather than $50, everything is big and spacious, the chocolate tastes like wax, cheese is bland, and most people still wear t-shirts and jeans from the 80s...yes, that is my homeland - Toronto, Canada.

Ah, it's good to be home...

But i had the most wonderful 2 weeks in a really long time. I got to minister with my pastor's Duncan and Kate Smith at a family camp held in the north of England. I met and connected with some extremely cool people and was caught saying some extremely rediculous things (what else is new with me???), got to share the Father's heart and watch people set free from hurts that were indescribable through His love(i always love to witness how the Father just reverses history and takes what the enemy intended for evil, and turns it into something beautiful...that in itself is a MIRACLE!!). I have been so blessed and it helped me to remember what it is like to have a soft heart, and catapulted me into having a soft heart again. I also got some really good quality time with D&K which was just what i needed, plus had cheese and wine every single night! Hehee!

The second week i spent in beautiful Bath with my coolest and bestest of friends!! WOW, i was spoiled beyond imagination!! So much happend, i dont even know where to begin. It was just an all-round incredible week. I even managed to attend an English wedding (as a 'date') of a couple i didnt even know, attend Soul Survivor for the first time ever, ate the BEST Indian food/curry I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED, toured through an old English castle, had yummy cream tea and fed live roosters from our hands (random but very fun), stayed up till all hours of the night laughing and chatting, watched the entire series of Pride and Prejudice for the first time (oh Mr. Darcy!), Shopped in Bath, went to London, drank tea in pubs and trendy cafes, italian icecream by the river, amazing conversations...oh and so much more, with friends that i love SOOO much!~ I couldnt have asked for a better time! Thank you: Hugh, Tom, Jon, Jane, Danielle, James...i miss you already!

Wow, i am so jetlagged...i am bearly awake and it's only 8:30pm...this is sad.

Ok, i give in...my bed is calling me and my pillow is singing my name...how can i resist??!

Speak to you again, very soon!

3/4th of the way through...

2005-08-17T09:15:00.001-04:00

So my trip to the beautiful UK is coming to an end.

[Moment of silence to wipe away a tear...]

I have so much to tell you, but time is ticking, and this internet cafe is EXPENSIVE!! Plus, i have to meet a gorgeous friend of mine in a few minutes, so details will have to wait. Even so...i am having a great time and i miss you all!!

Love,
Linda

Pasta Cho, Pass the Cho, Pastor Cho??

2005-07-22T12:37:00.001-04:00

Wha?

"Hi. So, what do you do?"

"Hi, I'm a pastor, want to come visit my church?"

I have replayed this random conversation over and over again in my head and it never sounds "not strange". Hahaa! That is the amazing thing about God! He baffles your mind, takes you out of all your comfort zones and reminds you how DESPERATELY in need of Him you are, every day, every second, every minute!!

Andrew and I have been asked by TACF Pastoral Team to be the new Pastors of the Downtown Satellite Church geared towards people like us! Young Adults, and university students now have a church in the heart of our amazing city to worship God and love on the unloved - being Jesus' hands, feet and knees, bent down in the dirt to be where the broken are!! I cannot wait!! God has done so much in my life. He has literally fulfilled Isaiah 61:1 in my life, and now i want Him to use us to fulfill that in hundreds if not thousands of other lives, one brokenhearted at a time.

AAAAHHHHh! So our first official meeting will be September 11th @ 6pm. Location: YMCA - College and Yonge. But we are doing a vision casting meeting this Sunday at One Up - Dundas and Bay at 6pm for anyone who would like to join us.

Wow, it still hasn't sunk in....

Firsts...

2005-07-08T22:56:00.001-04:00

Yes, it has been a while since the May 24 weekend where Laura, Sarah and I went on our great adventure to NEW YORK CITY!! Let's just say, after visiting NYC, Downtown Toronto is BOONIE-VILLE! Seriously, Toronto is mild and ssslllooowww paced compared to the sleepless city of New York. WOW. The buzz and lights keep the city in daylight 24 hrs a day and MAN is it crazy! My eyes feasted on the architecture, the people, the sites, Time Square (I never knew it was double-sided!!!)...etc. And the three of us had so many random compliments from male strangers that I was kinda reminded, "Oh, so I'm NOT ugly...ok! Great!"...Hahaa...(I am totally NOT fishing for compliments at this point, just in case anyone was wondering). But the truth is, living, breathing, ministering, socializing in TACF, where everyone is so inter-woven together along with everyone else...It's an unnatural environment, and frankly, up to that point, I hadn't been told I was "beautiful" in a really long time...so it was nice to hear it again...a bit of a shock, but nice. We even had the Italian-Mafia/Restaurant Owner & waiter gushing over us as we had dinner in Little Italy...the Owner even took my hand and kissed it...then he tightened his tough knuckles and showed me how white they got, proving his Tek Won Do black belt skills! I was thinking, "Mr. Mafia Man, I bet you don't just use those knuckles to spar at the gym...." Let me tell you...that in itself was an experience.

We also visited our mentor's headquarters...TRUMP INTERNATIONAL! YAh Baby!! and toured through Greenwich village where we had a BLAST of a time. We happened to catch the community street festival that only happens ONCE a year for ONE day...and that just happened to be the day we were there...GOD IS SO FABULOUS!! It was awesome! As girls, we just LOVED all the accessories that were displayed and being sold EVERYWHERE!! It was just such a wonderful experience...Live band and all!! We were in a bit of Heaven!

So yes, my first experience to New York was WONDERFUL, I would love to go back and do some more touristy things...and visit more famous sites like Miss Liberty and the Empire State Building (which we didn't have time to go up), or Fifth Ave...etc. I DEFINITELY want to go back...but I want to go back for a WEEK, so that I can take my time taking it all in. IT was awesome. What even made it better were my two absolutely amazing friends who made the experience more magnificent than it could have been. Laura and Sarah...what would I do without you?

Now back to the title of my blog. "Firsts". Recently, a lot of "Firsts" have been happening in my life. It takes too long to tell you the story of each one, but let me list them out for you.

1st Visit to New York
1st Apartment that's totally mine
1st Time living on my own
1st Guest in my new apartment: Mel
1st Sleep-over guest: Nicky
1st Guests long term: Danielle & Jane
1st Time up the CN Tower
1st Toronto Jazz Festival...wow!
1st Driving test :(
1st Driving test failure
1st Boxing Class
1st Splash of SOMEONE ELSE'S sweat in my face, YUCK!
1st Time I've taken lunch to work, consecutively
1st Dance in my home out of sheer joy
1st Killers Concert
1st Blond strip in my hair (Tasteful of course)
1st Of many things I would rather not mention...and so many more I have forgotten to...

But life is such an adventure, and GOd has really restored hope, dreams and destiny to me. There are so many more major things in the works, but I will let you know as they happen. In the meantime, pray for me, laugh with me, freak-out with me, cry with me, dance with me as I brace myself go through situations that will CHANGE MY LIFE!

May there me MANY "Firsts" for you too!

NEW YORK NEW YORK

2005-05-20T11:08:00.001-04:00

NYC or bust!! WOOHOO...

I am 1 of 3 Amigas who are headed for the city of Blinding Lights (or is that Las Vagas...don't know...anyway...) I have never been before so i am pumped as pumped could be!! YES! it kinda happened so fast. We were planning to do something outside our beatiful yet sometimes wreched city, Toronto, for the May 24 long-weekend but we hadnt even considered NYC until Monday...and today is Friday and now we are OFF!! YES!!

THIS IS CRAZY...but CRAZY WONDERFUL!! So pray for us, that we go and come back safely...and have the time of our lives in between!! :)

Ok, back to doing what i need to do...will come back with fantastic stories to tell!

LOVE YAs!!

test

2005-05-10T14:25:00.001-04:00

11/05/04

2005-05-02T14:25:00.002-04:00

Glancing up I see you, you make me smile
What you say makes me laugh
Brings out the silly in me
Our exchange of conversation
Reminds me I'm warm and safe

The moment passes and so does my smile
Laughter fades into an echo
That emphasizes the sadness
I can be real when eyes are turned away
I feel worn and tired

I could cry, but big girls don't
I need to hold on, concentrate solely
On pulling one foot infront the other
Physical weakness expressing
Emotional fatigue, whispering
how dangerously close I am
to dropping my gloves
and embracing the final blow

I just want to lie here, waiting...
I just want to rest my eyes a little...
Don't bother with me
I'm too tired to care...
Don't wake me up until next year
Maybe then something good for once
Would be the latest news

Seeing you, the smile I give
Is the residue of memories past
Of another life...
Where freedom reigned...
Now no more

I've gone to sleep awake
A long time ago...
But soft hearts give permission
to ones filled with sorrow

I found this in my Drafts folder in my inbox, where i hide most of my poetry. I cant even remember when i wrote it or why, but it's so sad and it makes me shudder to think i felt like that at one point in my life. Though i must admit, i've only just started to come back to life in 2005...the past few years have been tough for me - Yet God is good...and i can no longer relate to this Poem. :o)

The Cho Cho Sisterhood...

2005-04-30T15:40:00.002-04:00

Everybody want's to be OK
Everybody want's to be alright
Everybody want's do be right
Nobody want's to admit their wrongs

Quick to pick out my flaws
Quick to see your's back
When we choose to turn away
And have Grace then we can play

Otherwise, we're cold inside
Otherwise, we're alone outside
Otherwise, there are no words to say
Otherwise, we're in the wrong lane

Pick at my wounds
Then i can see yours
Dress my wounds
It's harder to see yours

Love is the only way forward
Forgivness is progressive culture
Communicating without walls
Together we stand tall

Expecting you to be perfect
You expecting me too
Will never happen in this life
Might as well deal and move on

Together we stand tall
Together we stand tall
Together we are tall
Together we don't fall

Stop looking at my lack
I'm quick to forget yours
Stop assuming my path
I want to hold hands through yours

Let the past be past
Dont violate my heart
It hurts to violate yours
Let the past be past

It's better when we're together
It's always more fun together
We are stronger together
Much more to talk about together.

The Cho Cho Sisterhood
Trives on "Together"
Love is the only way forward
Forgivenss is progressive culture

Let's be friends again.

The only living girl in Toronto...

2005-04-19T19:46:00.001-04:00

Once in a while I get hit in the gut with something so revolutionary for that precise moment in time, where I am at a crossroads and need God's intervention and His perspective to raid my being. Most recently, I had another God "gut moment" on the subway to work.

I usually like to listen to worship first thing in the morning (on my hot, new, pink iPod, of course) because I liken it to feeding myself and setting the tone for the day...you know, like a healthy breakfast of "God you ROCK, please keep me sane today"...

But one morning last week, I just felt inclined to listen to something other than BJ, JU, LW, United, 3rd Day, Delirious and the other morning favorites. I felt drawn to my one-and-only Simon & Garfunkel song on my playlist and that's when I had my gut smacked! Here are some of the dangerous lyrics...

Here I am...
The only living boy in New York

I get the news I need
On the weather report
Aaaaah Ahhh...
I can gather all the news I need
On the weather report
Hey I've got nothing to do today, but smile!
doh doh de doh de doh

Here I am...
The only living boy in New York
The only living boy in New York

Half of the time we're gone
but we don't know where
We don't know where...
Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh...
ahh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh...

Here I am....

Those words nearly made me cry. It was at that moment that I realized I had forgotten to be a daughter, a child, where all the news I need is on the weather report...where I can laugh and play and have fun, trusting that my Dad is taking care of all my needs and everything in between. It killed me that I stopped being "a living girl in Toronto" (as cheese as that is)...I had died, and become "Grown Up".

So yah...God really called me again to be His girl, not His "got-everything-together-and-under-control-all-successful-and-doing-just-fine" Linda Hope Cho. So back to anxiously and full of excitement, waiting for the weather report!!

Here's to Sunshine and the Rain Clouds...cuz it's always an opportunity to dance!

And She will be Loved...

2005-04-14T22:25:00.001-04:00

La de da de da la la...

I think i need another revelation of God as Daddy, and me as Daughter...kinda like Tarzan. "Me-Dad, You-Child!" Ok, well maybe not like that cuz i can't really picture God in a tiger skin loincloth swinging from a vine...nope, not happening.

I think i need to workout more regularly and STRETCH afterwards. I haven't exercised in almost a year, and was so proud of myself for going to the boxing gym last Wednesday night. But after just 1 1/2 hr of kickboxing my body has been in excruciating pain for 2 1/2 DAYS and counting!! Even my SCALP hurts!!!...not right, not fair...which completely voids my "intense workout" cuz now i can bearly move so i've been sitting around like a blob in (non)motion for the past 2 days...arg.

I think i need to get my license. Bob, my "friendly" driving instructor is driving me mad!! Hey, don't judge! How would you feel if every-time you saw Bob, he'd greeted you with, "I'm gonna shoot ou!"...yah, thought so. Plus, I'm not into giving 56 yr old men advice about women. And don't worry ladies, i didn't comment on his, "I'll come to your church if there are lots of girls!!" Kept my mouth firmly shut in the form of a Cabbage Patch smile...yup, nooooo comment!!! Wouldn't want his bushy eyebrows looking into yours, EVER!! Let's just say, I see this as a short term investment with long term gain. (two thumbs up)

I think i need to get a second job. If i want that slick new Mini CooperS along with a new apartment and a pair of shoes to match, i've gotta support it somehow...I wonder if Galaxy Donuts is hiring...Hhaaa..just kidding... :o)

Out distributing my resume like 50% OFF flyers...catch ya later...

Want one??

FW:05

2005-03-29T23:50:00.001-05:00

Freshwind was HOT. Freshwind ROCKED...God ROCKED Freshwind!!

Man, was He there!! Lord you are increadible!!

I had tons of fun, MCed a little, Spoke a little, Danced a little and Screamed a lot...I think i was stretched a little more this year than last, and i cannot wait till 06!! We, as a leadership team, have all changed SOOOO much since last Easter, and i can only imagin what God has up his sleeve for next. I pray i truely am in a different, more intimate place with the Lord than i am now.

WORSHIP WAS INCREADIBLE...especially Friday Night. Our very own, local superstars, heros and celebrities - TACF Youth Network Band - was so intune with the Holy Spirit they shook the house down in unison with what God was doing!! Man do you guys ROCK or WHAT?? Bill, Andrew and Laura all wrote and sung origionals, and i couldnt be more proud...as a friend, sister, fan, God-lover and worshiper. You all were unbelieveable!!

So ya, another year, another youth conference has come and gone. I am just starting to feel rested and calming down from the major buzz...and ready to face the world again. Jesus, you are my shield, and the only reason i wake up in the morning...

Speaking of which...i need to crash. Good night!! I love you PEOPLE!!

I Dream of Summer...

2005-03-19T23:14:00.001-05:00

with longing gazes
beyond the concrete jungle
past the horizon
of freeways & highways
401, 427, 404, 409
everything coloured
covered in white

i sit here and stare
...i dream of summer

Dying Star

2005-03-17T10:38:00.001-05:00

Star how beautiful you shine
You shine more beautiful than mine
You shine from sea to shining sea
And world wide is your strategy

But Shining Star I hope you see
If the whole wide world is
Starring straight at you
They can't see me...

I want them to know me...
but they can't see me
I want to show them my glory....
but they can't see me

...So rise, rise, rise
So the world can see
Rise rise, rise,
So the world can see
Just another Dying Star!

Reality Check for Linda Cho = Shining Star vs. Dying Star...i want to be the latter.

Attention For: Linda Cho

2005-03-14T23:29:00.001-05:00

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!LORD I CANNOT SAY THIS ENOUGH!! THANK YOU!!

Here's the story: (in a dramatic narration...)

I was given a brown paper package with those words [Attention For: Linda Cho] and nothing else as i walked into the office this morning. i started unwrapping it as i walked towards my department and noticed that it was a "Mac" product. Since i work in a very creative department, we all use Macs so nothing was particularily new...yet.

"Cool, something for my department that was addressed to me...like a firewire, or some sort of cable (or whatever latest gadget those Mac people have come up with recently that my department "needs" so badly..."

or so i thought...

As i started to unravel what was in my hand, i freaked. the last two letters of the word "Mini iPod" peeked from under the brown paper. Oh Jesus, it couldnt be!!

I RAN to the nearest corner of my office, curled into a FETAL position and ROCKED back & forth on the floor wedged between the wall and Alyn's desk!!!..."Aaaahhhhhaaahhh!"

Now, thank GOD Laura was there! She was my voice of reason in this surreal moment, "LINDA GET UP AND OPEN IT!! Or else I will!!!!"

"...uh....uh...i caannntt!!! I cant even get up!!!"

"NOW Linda...come on, you have to open it!!"

"....uh....ok....AAAAHHHHH!! uh...ok...AAAAHHH....ok..i can do this...."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

I opened it and cried. Tears came from as deep as my gut, my stomach area...not from the head up but from deep inside my soul. I have been praying for an iPod and attempting to save for it (to not much avail) not to mention, desperatly needing one because of my lack of personal space and the empty 1 1/2 hour commute to work and back every day...i just really wanted an iPod so that i could be my solitary time with the Lord even if i was in a crowded bus, fighting for a good grip on the pole.

I cried because i knew He knew...i knew that my Father God really cared and at that moment, i felt so taken care of. When i finally regained my composure...my Boss walked in so i announced, "Do I have the PRAISE REPORT of the CENTURY or What??!!" and showed him the box to my PERFECT PINK MINI IPOD!! He was SOO excited for me!! He took it and started to inspect it from front to back (like any guy and Mac enthusiast would) and then said, "Oh look, there's and inscription on it!"

WHAT? WHERE??

On the back it said:

I love you, Your Heavenly Daddy

To this moment, that still makes me tear up...but when i saw it...i just started to weep from deep inside. I know this may sound silly..."it's just an "iPod", it's not like a liver or anything"...But honestly...i just had a Father Heart moment there...it just broke me, and touched me to the core of who i am...

Yes, i feel loved, cherished and taken care of. THANK YOU, to whoever listened to the Father and sowed into me like this. Thank you for personalizing it from the colour to the inscription. I may never know who you are but the Lord does, and nothing escapes Him, nothing goes unnoticed!! And i bless you to be blessed 1000000000x what you have blessed me with, and i aim to be a giver like you!!

THANK YOU DADDY!! THANK YOU!! THANK YOU for hours of great tunes, soaking times and my boppin' head...!! Haha!! THANK YOU!!

I am overwhelmed!! i must sleep, and hopefully sanity will catch up with me!! THANK YOU!!

Radio Scaredio

2005-03-04T10:39:00.001-05:00

"LIFE 100.3 FM morning Breakfast Club with Ben&Woody!!

Today, we have a special guest from Toronto - Linda Cho - here to talk to us about the youth conference FRESHWIND! Thank you for joining us this morning..."

"It's a pleasure! Nice to meet you Ben, nice to meet you Woody...."

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Another freakout session! This time, not just at first...but more so AFTERwards!! My legs were shaking for 20 minutes after the 5 minute, 9 question (4 of which were unexpected curve balls) "conversation"/interview, LIVE on the Radio!!! AAAHHHHHH! I nearly fell on the floor.

But again...God was faithful, and i had a great time. Hit the curves square on the head and out the park. The dude, who was the one shaking it up, was a bit cocky and liking his "celebrity" status, but it turned out that God had purpose in it all. It was FUN, and a couple people i know, heard it on the radio and said it sounded really good, natural and calm...funny that, as i was very nervous before AND after...

I did say one faux pas: (I am so embarrassed...)

When "celebrity guy" asked me who Cleetus Adrian and Tommy Rostedt was [two of our speakers and a questions i was not expecting], I described Cleetus as a pastor of youth who are "unwanted" in a [traditional] church, which is true...but when i was trying to give an example, i said...SKATERS!!!

WHAT?! [I'm a freakoid!!] Skaters aren't unwanted!! But oh well, His grace is sufficient, and for that reason i am glad it was Live! Hopefully no one will remember! hahaa!

Now, how to get over being so mortified...?

Preach'it Sista!!

2005-02-28T09:34:00.001-05:00

I SPOKE AT CHRUCH SUNDAY MORNING!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!

Ok, though traumatically nervous before the "mounting of the platform steps", it was sooo much fun and God showed up. [THANK YOU!]

The topic given to me was "Single Focus" and though i wish it didn't relate to me, it does...and so i knew that there were tons of others out there (like me) who needed to hear this message. It's a tender topic, and quite dangerous too, to be speaking in-front of a thousand people, PLUS the internet viewing audience world-wide and proclaiming your marital status...yup, quite scary. But i am hidden and covered by God, and Duncan&Kate as well as my whole familiy where there, so i felt safe.

I may be shooting myself in the foot by doing this, but you can watch it on the net here.

[Update: Sign up is Free, and it will only be up until this weekend.]

Hahaa...enjoy if you dare!!

Hip Hop w/ Mom

2005-02-21T22:51:00.001-05:00

I just told my mom i want to take Hip Hop dance classes, starting next week.

Mom says she wants to do it with me.

She wants to come with me to our first class.

If you knew my mom...you know that's REALLY funny!!!

UPDATE: Mom showed me a few of her "moves" to prove her enthusiasm... Oh MY GOD!! I LOVE living with my Mom!!

Kissing School?

2005-02-17T09:26:00.001-05:00

I read this article in the paper this morning. Just when you think you've heard everything...ya learn something new!

Sadly, i am somewhat intrigued! Check this out:

There's more to a kiss than meets the lips, as couples are learning at a kissing school in Seattle.
Psychotherapist Cherie Byrd, 56, got the idea for teaching kissing classes while dating a man who was a horrible kisser.
"Yuck. He was clumsy, unskilled and half-hearted," Byrd said. "I told him if he wanted to relationship to continue he had to let me teach him to kiss."
The boyfriend didn't last, but Byrd, a self-described "luscious kisser," said that gave her the idea to teach the art and craft of kissing to other couples. Since 1998, more than 500 couples have paid $275 US to learn Byrd's secrets for giving or receiving a passionate kiss.
In a typical class, up to a dozen couples create "love nests" with sleeping bags on the floor of the classroom. Each class begins with foot rubs, back-to-back dancing and kisses on the hand, Students slowly graduate to neck nibbles, and finally lip lock.
Byrd's school, simply titled Kissing School, appears to be the only one of its kind, although there are websites that offer kissing tips. Several books also cover the subject, including one by Byrd.

So yah, i think since this "Miss Byrd" has a monopoly in this market. I think i should start my OWN "School of Kissing"!! i think i can teach a few people a few of my MANY tricks!! Seeing as how I am SOOO experienced and have a PLETHORA of knowledge and wisdom gathered in my short life...hey, I'm not 56 but I'm a luscious kisser...(yah right!)

Hahaahahaha!! Is anyone else thoroughly entertained by this?? Well, i'm having a HOOT!! (hmmm, i should pinch this sarcasm in the butt)

Cho > OUT!

ps. Kissin Skool NEone? Here's to all the soon-to-be "Luscious Kissers"
CHEERS!

RAIN!

2005-02-08T13:25:00.001-05:00

It's raining MEN...Hallelujah it's raining MEN...yaheeya!

Well, no, not really. But it's RAINING alright!! WOOHOO...the weather has turned delicious, and the wind chill utterly smashed, positively demolished, victoriously conquered by the HERO named Mr. Warm Spring Breeze!!

I know what ur thinkin', "Spring in February?? In Toronto, CANADA?? Isn't your excitement a bit premature??"

Sure...but WHO CARES!! I am LOVIN this weather...I am MADE for the sun...Made to live in the warmth!! I DRINK IN the HEAT...I WANT TO DANCE in FLIP FLOPS!!! I EMBRACE anything above sub 0, "-36 with wind chill" CRAP that's been raiding our town ...eeeevvvviiiilllll!

I have been convicted, found guilty of believing that 2 degrees is pretty much summer. [C'mon...it is!!...isn't it??]

Evidence #183: does not wear sockz
Evidence #290: wears thin zippy (not sensible winter coat)
Evidence #12: Californian, flip-flop babe Miss Dailey is Role Model (not Sir. Frosty de SnoMan)

SO what if the facts stack up against me...I WANT THE SUN...I want to have as little layers of cotton and wool on as possible! Bring on the tanks and flirty skirts (knee-length of course...)

That's my rant :o)

Buzz & Hum

2005-02-07T14:05:00.001-05:00

There is a buzz inside of me. I want to stretch my creative wings. The extent of my outside creative influences is my mundane ride home on the public transit, affectionately, though not necessarily accurately, termed "the Rocket".

A part of me just wants to sit on the sidewalks of Queen Street taking in the the hum and buzz of humanity and it's search, it's beauty, even it's pain. I want to expand my mind to include other people's view of issues that seem simple and often black and white to me. I want to see different forms of creative expression to see where the boundaries are to my limited scope. I want to stretch: expand: grow. I want to try the weird, the funky, the strange, and the brilliant. I want to be inspired.

I know i can delve into the pools of brilliance of those who are a few steps ahead because i want to be challenged, outside of my own vocab, or my own pallet of colours. I want to try new things and taste beyond the regurgitation of my own poetic flow. I want to immerse myself in verbage other than my own...to appreciate my own.

I want to expand.

Oh, and I want to heal the sick too.

Toils of the Sun

2005-02-07T11:34:00.001-05:00

Toils of the Sun
Awaken the dawn
Seabirds scream out
The arrival of light

Orange horizon outline
The beauty of Nature
And it's creatures
Provoking contained wonderment

Gasps of breath
Skip a beat
Speechless
Awed by Majestic
Toils of the Sun

Silence

2005-01-30T18:38:00.001-05:00

I realized that though being a HIGH influencer (aka. super crazy and wanting others to go nuts right along with me) I have very low energy. I find I am tired most of the time, and the thing that keeps me going is the energy and buzz my friends give me when I am around them. (Gosh I have awesome friends!!) But a lot of the time, my stamina is fighting to keep up and though I have spurts of psychodom I have to just sit down and catch my breath immediately after my outbursts.

But through this defect, I have had more moments of silent contemplation. Most of the time, it is utter thanks I feel to my incredible Father, who has given me every good and perfect gift. An incredible family, a happy home, super cool and unconditionally loving friends, a great job that I look forward to every morning, an amazing ministry with a cell of the BEST and opportunity to stretch my wings, enough money to not freak out at Shopper's Drug Mart's ridiculously over priced merchandise all in the name of Optimum Points, good health, and love for myself (yes, even in the fat days.)

I don't really know what I am trying to say...I guess that especially on this blogsite, I squirt out froth when I have a window of a few minutes to post something new. The stuff I really want to talk about don't come to me in those minutes of frantic brainrack for a blog-worthy entry...so I blab crap. Hahaa!

For those of you who think of me outside of our brief conversations...please pray for me when you remember. Though the silence is good, and the contemplations are good...I tend to be too wiped out to act out my dreams, or even have a passion for things outside of my immediate, necessary responsibilities, obligations and commitments. I want to express myself beyond the confines of my pillow. I want to live a fuller life. I want to be able to live out what's on my mind. So I sign off, about to enter another moment of silence.

Thanks for reading.
I love you.

The River Jordan

2005-01-29T23:52:00.003-05:00

I once like this boy. I still see him once in a while, and though the crush isn't there, I still blush when he throws me a comment I wasn't prepared for (according to Laura: witness & bestfriend).

I think I was attracted to his character and personality. At the time when I first met him, I was just out of high-school, and all my friends, co-workers, pretty much everyone I knew were hardcore smokers, but he wasn't!! ...So that was an immediate bonus!

(girls: not a good idea to like a guy just cuz he doesn't smoke...but that's just where I was at :)

...and he was so nice...

(guys: they say "nice guys finish last" SOO NOT TRUE!! A lot of the reason why we melt is BECAUSE, "He's sooo nice...")

...he was funny, super smart, dressed well, I loved his hair, and most of all - I always felt like the coolest, smartest, prettiest girl on the planet when he looked at me as we gabbed. He always lit up when he saw me, and I couldn't help but whine to myself every time, "He is sooo cute!" (ps. He LOVED hotsauce: even if it burned!!:)

Well, the major thing that sucked was that we didn't share the most important element in my life, my love for God: My best friend, Saviour, Everything. So that didn't go anywhere...but I still sometimes wonder.

I don't "like" him anymore, and I haven't for a while, but I have never stopped admiring him. I guess that's a good sign. And it got me thinking..."What is the secret combination of elements that make me tick??" I don't know, but what I do know is I just want to be attracted to someone again...I want the chance to not run away. Is that so hard to ask? Can't a girl, who's learned from her many mistakes get another try? (Jesus, I promise to open my heart...I just want to be WOWed again.)

I have amazing friends that I sometimes wish I could just fall in love with...(cuz they are sooo amazing) But I can't make myself feel. The Lord knows. He probably has a SUPER HOT, SUPER AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, AWESOME, PERFECT woman for them...and that makes me happy.

As for me...Still waiting to tick.

gibberish...

2005-01-17T18:46:00.001-05:00

No idea what to say
or what to do
schools swimming in head
though none biting, they must be fed
wanting to tell you crazy stories
but can't think of anything clever
except the English word "lorries"
are you worried??

well, my stomach has been hurtin'
for about a week and still commin'
shouldn't eat spicy foods
but just had burning Thai noods
now going out for a hot curry
my back may turn hairy
i may be furry!!

so intercede for my brain
as i try to refrain
from causing all this cheese
to make you beg "please...
stop your shenanigans"
though i like "phenanigans"
should i be thenanigan??

ok, now i go
you can say "wooho"
off to Tandoori Time
Butter Chicken shall be mine!!
you should be proud
spicy i will not allow
don't like to feel "ow!"
frown and raise an eyebrow....

Ode to my "G"

2005-01-11T19:17:00.001-05:00

Now that I've moved back in with my mom, I have experienced so many hilarious moments that I've missed when fully immersed in the western culture. Haha, my mom is so funny.

Here's some History:
She created her own hairstyle back in the late 80's by convincing her hairdresser to do as she says. It hasn't changed it since. But now and again, especially every winter, she likes her normally short cut overgrown, covering the tips of her ears and floppy up top. Her logic: Keeps her warmer!! (oh how I love her) The other day, she just casually asked me, "Should I cut my hair or keep it long?" Like any girlfriend would ask another. So I truthfully said, "Mom, get it cut...it's starting to look sloppy," The look on her face at that moment was Kodak, one of deep thought and contemplation at her possible style faux-pas. Then she uttered from her beautiful mouth, "I look like a 'be-tul-gee' don't I??" ...I was like "HUH!?"...the only possible translation to this heavily accented description was the "beetle" insect.

Exasperated I replied, "the bug?"
"No, the music band, 'Bee-tul-gee'!!"
OH...the BEATLES!!! I get it!!
She continued, "I don't want to look like 'Bee-tul-gee or Elvis"

...Hahaa... My most precious mom fears she may look like John Lennon or the King himself! PRICELESS!

I also discovered that my super conservative and seemingly out-of-current-pop-culture-touch mother loved Simon & Garfunkel back in her disco days (the 70's) along with Abba, the Beatles, and the Bee Gees to name a few...and most shocking of all, never liked Cher!! WOOHOO, my mom IS THE COOLEST MOM IN THE WORLD!!

So yah, as a 23 year old daughter, I am just discovering the many facets of my super fantabulous mom...someone, who in many ways, though I loved with all my heart and was loved back even more intensely, was a mystery to me. Of all the things I adore about my mom, my favorite is this: On special occasions, like Birthday, Graduation or Christmas, she will get around to writing me a card. In it, she encourages me and tells me how proud of me she is and every word warms my heart. But the one that never fails to makes me cry and laugh at the same time is the ways she signs her name...

Love,
momme (translation: Mommy)

I never want to correct her, cuz that's one of the many little things that make her so special to me. I love you mom!

Mama Mia!!

2005-01-09T21:53:00.001-05:00

OH, so much to say...no idea where to start, (and knowing me) I may not know when to end-resulting in writings of epic length!!

Last week was incredible, WOW!! I think I just experienced "Lindakkah" (as Tina would say it...) 8 days of Birthday Celebration!! I just feel so loved and spoiled by all my dearest friends! THANK YOU!!

I was really bummbed on "The Day"-Jan 2nd- and my mom, trying to cheer me up, made me repeat after her, "I love my birthday on New Years!" (it's not actually on New Years, but I accredit that slight inaccuracy to my mom's improving grammar. heehee, I love my Mom!! :o) So I mumbled back to the best of my abilities... "ilovemybirthdayonnewyears." But deep inside I actually wished it was on June 18th or somewhere FAR FAR away from New Year/Christmas. Little did I know or suspect, all the lovin' was just beginning and it hasn't stopped! I was BLOWN AWAY by all my incredible friends who partied it out like it was the 1st of July!! Seriously, my past terrible "birthday experiences" are being redeemed, so much so that I can't honestly say my birthdays suck anymore!! I feel so surrounded by people who love me back.

Thank you for making me feel so special and undeservingly cherished!! I am so blessed to be your friend...what would I do without you??

An Honourable Mention...

2005-01-03T19:34:00.001-05:00

As you may notice, there finally is a photo of me by my profile. I could never figure out how it was done, on my own...but my computer savvy friend, Kenny (aka. "the ken") sorted it all out for me.

THANK YOU KENNY!!

I totally appreciate the time you didn't need to put in for me, but you did. YOU ROCK!

On a side note: The pretty-good-quality pic was taken by Ken's new, shnazzy, high-tech, slick-as-waxed-Ferarri cell phone which you can read about here while I was in my desk @ work.

Now read my birthday blog.

(haha, and you thought I couldn't be demanding... :o)

Merry Birthday!

2005-01-02T23:25:00.001-05:00

23 short years ago, my sweet dear mother gave birth to a little girl and named her "Linda". She was her New Years Baby and grew up to me a healthy woman who can touch type (among a few other things...hahaa :o)

Yup, another Birthday has come and is soon to be gone, another year older. The thought of being 23 always freaked me out, cuz I felt that by this age I should have it all figured out. My life should be in fine order, my path plotted straight and wizzing on the way to shining success. But now that this daunting age is upon me, it's quite the opposite, really!

I moved out of a lovely house with my amazing girlfriends, back to living with my mom, no fancy materialistic thing to my name (except my stereo...hahaha), no dashing man in my life (yet), and still no university degree.... BUT I feel SOO Fulfilled! I may not have what society says should be under my belt, don't even HAVE a belt!! But my heart is so happy, grounded, and solid...full of love and expectation in life...I could not ask for anything better!! I know that I'm doing exactly what I'm meant to be doing.

I know that the Path that God has me on may be Unconventional yet it is PERFECT...I know that I am destined for great things and my desire to change the world and help those in need are not futile dreams, but a necessity for it's fulfillment.

And so, I am excited about 2005. Excited because I know all the crap that hit the fan and flew my way in 2003/2004 was just paving the way for where I am now. I know it is different from this moment on. I feel so different! I have not felt so alive, as I do now!! I have finally come out of the water and am breathing freely, ready to run the fields and truly, finally FLY!!

So though I don't really like my birthdays, this was a great one! Not just cuz my friends constantly remind me how loved I am (even though I want to sulk about my seemingly inconvenient day) and not just cuz my mom has such a way of making me feel so special...but mostly because God reminded me of who He is and what He has for me. I know He will fulfill His promises in ways that I could never have imagined!! I LOVE His Creativity! AAAAAHHHHH....BRING IT ON!!

So I sign out...this time brimming with laughter! I AM 23 and READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD!!

I Love you all!
Your crazy friend...
Linda

To Shift or not to Shift...

2004-12-23T13:16:00.001-05:00

That is the question!

I am trying to decide, if it would be better to get a standard Mini CooperS, or an automatic...it's a dilemma i tell you!

Tell me what you think...And while you're at it, let me know what you think about me getting a cell phone...especially since i have avoided it to this point...hahaa!

Cho

It's Been A While

2004-12-21T13:47:00.001-05:00

It's been a while
I miss saying hello
It's been a while
Since I've bid you fairwell
Now a smile describes my return

I smile
Because I see you smiling
Red bows cover the oak trees
The sign you gave to me
I am welcome here

Let's drink to friendships
That last through the silence
Cheers to your open ear
Mouth wide with laughter
It's always warm around you

It's been a while
Since words last written
But the circle door is open
To my thoughts lingering in
The lobby, ready to greet you

So my friend sent me this game...

2004-12-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

And it is the coolest thing around...Check it OUT!

Orlando & Brad...

2004-11-24T13:46:00.001-05:00

For those of you know me quite well or have had the "JOY" of being near enough to hear me blab about "my car", know that I am quite looking forward (being the mild term) to driving a Mini CooperS (hopeful) next year. I have dreamed and drooled over CooperS' for about 3 years now, and when Mini was first introduced and available to the North American market I nearly peed my pants! (to the relief of my friends and family, thank the good Lord, I didn't!)

Well, recently, I felt like God challenged me with the fact that I sing about my Mini all the time yet I didn't even know what COLOUR I wanted it to be!! (Crazy Cho!) So I was like, "You're SOO right!" Being the obedient daughter, I went to Mini.ca and entered the world of MINI! OH MY GOSH, the website is SOO flippin' HOT!! Not only is it sexy/cool, you get to BUILD your own Mini any way you like! After trying different combos I realized that my heart skipped a beat with the "Electric Blue Metallic" and the "Dark Silver Metallic" trimmed with a white roof and mirror caps, a sunroof and heated seats. Yum!

So here I am...happy as a bee creating my dream car...then I realize, you can SAVE your Super-Mini!! WOAH! I jumped on that one and built my garage. Having to Name my cars to park in the garage I was slightly stuck. What name could possibly suit my babes?? Using Laura's sweet, red Honda Civic's name (Marvin after "Gaye") as a reference I came up with the perfect one! Orlando for the Electric Blue, after "Bloom" and Brad for the Dark Silver, after "Pitt"! And it was Good!

Hahaa! So now, from time to time, I intercede for Orlando and Brad praying that when the day comes for me to choose one over the other, neither would be too heart-broken! (tear) [Just between you and me, I'm leaning towards Orlando]

So there you have it...the latest amusements of the Cho...I encourage you, check out the site yourself! You will be happily amazed...and as you build your own Mini, pray for my babies, Orlando & Brad!

As Sarah Dailey so eloquently put it, "I'm in Love"

the light bulb

2004-11-09T19:19:00.001-05:00

It snowed yesterday. Big, white, fluffy snow. It was so beautiful, especially with the backdrop of Downtown Stratford - clusters of sweet cafes and trendy storefronts with architecture befitting a world-class festival town. Shakespeare would be proud. I felt like I was starring in my own silent picture and the only music playing was the tune in my head...it was nice. I haven't contemplated my state in a long time, and now, to look at it like it is made me scared. I feel like I nearly killed my inside, and seriously injured my emotions, my heart, the very thing that makes me the collage that I am. It hurt to realize how much that didn't hurt at first. To find that once again I had mastered the trade of being a "survivor" rather than a "lover" and a "liver" (not the organ kind : ).

I cried today. I haven't cried like I did today in a long long time. And the fact that liquid spilled so freely meant there was still hope for my ailing heart. That I wasn't beyond repair. It may be a long recovery and some difficult decisions will have to be made (of which I feel I have made some already in my heart) but it will be better, I will be healed. Now I wait with baited breath to see if it will all fall into place. My eyes are still swollen from this morning, reflecting the fragility of my state. I was told I looked pretty, even still. (smile.) Ok, I choose to believe that. Man, it was such a God-thing that I am here. Away from a busy life in a busy city...to hear the voice of my Dad desperately asking me to come home. A voice I so easily dismissed back where I call "home".

I realized tomorrow has to come. I would stay here if I could. But those I love wait for me, and the things I enjoy call to me...I know, I need to change. Really change . And I hope this will be a reminder to me, every time I forget, how far and fast I ran before I realized I had stopped breathing. Thankfully, I am a daughter, though prodigal, a daughter first. And I was never left alone. So back home I go, to discover life again. Life with the Father. Life full with His love, life with my priorities in order.

So I sign out, tenderized, honest, and humbled.

Journal Entry: 11.07.04

2004-11-08T13:50:00.002-05:00

Jaded & Stupid
Rebellious
Thinking that proves something...
Hahaa! That's funny :o)
All it's left me is any ugly attitude and a stiff heart.
Not my idea of Love,
Not the woman I want to be.

So it's good that I'm out here,
In the middle of nowhere with the cows...
Cuz I need a serious kick in the butt and a slap on the head.
I need to rethink my life and learn to say, "thank you" for all I've got...
or make some scary/brave decisions...
But not until He tells me to move will I blink.
Not unless He tells me to walk will I take my right leg forward...
I need to learn that.
Dependency.
Yup.

I'm a pro at being "OK" and "DIY". How many turns does it take to screw in a light bulb?...None...just call "Linda Cho" the SUPERHERO!...@ least she thinks she is...in her own life.
Now my back is bruised and my fingers ache from lifting things way beyond my weight.
A mountain I seem to be circling way more than the 7 it took to conquer Jericho, kinda like the 40 years to reach "heaven" that should have taken only 3 months...
Maybe I'm super thick but I need this wake-up call!! I need to be REAL. I need to acknowledge that I suck...totally suck! Suck without God...the way I try to pull a Bravado @ every turn in my life...that's stupid. I need to "Let go"...and like the bumper sticker says..."Let God!"

Grace - you're more than a pretty name.
You're what I need right now.

God tell me it's gonna be alright...
Please love me back to life...
In every area of me.

Shades of Blue

2004-11-05T14:43:00.001-05:00

exciting life of the non-existent mind
flourishing on ideas unlikely to find
struggling with shades of the colour blue
If only it knew, if only it was true

hues distinguishing between false and reality
outnumber the 6 it has been accustomed to viewing
controlling the limits by which it lives
conditioned into thinking in the fields it swims

the exciting life of the non-existent mind
is open for viewing in my eyes at anytime
do I choose to live where comfort resides
or risk to live beyond my self made confines

tou...

2004-10-22T18:43:00.001-04:00

Traumatized by the uneven earth I'm rooted into,
Foreign to the sounds I grew up listening to,
Company I never expected to be joined to,
Darkness different than the night I'm used to,

But this sun is brighter than the one I remember it to...
So I guess I can live with this too,
And be able to go on for another two...