hollow space

my heart is breaking for you
it's better than not to feel at all
time has become an irritable nuisance
the numbness is effective
in greying my colour scheme

where am i to go?
what am i to do?
others have more plans for me
than i can come up on my own
waiting to wake up to something more

i know this can't be what you've dreamed
for me to live and breath
this hollow space must make you
shiver in your skin
that's been torn up for me

i'm sorry
i know excuses only point
the finger back at me
but i honestly cant tear myself
from the portal diluting me

maybe what i'm feeling
is not so much my craving for you
but rather the faint reflection
of what's real
you're heart that's breaking for me

Sometimes, I suprise myself.

After lamenting on my last post about having absolutely nothing to say - I launched two brand new blogs. Both of which have seen more action in the last 24hrs than my current, long-term relationship blog has seen in the past 24 months.

So without further ado, I present to you:

Run Phat Girl, Run - My new personal project towards the impossible

and

Home. Space. Beautiful - A 2nd, equally exciting personal project, this time, a creative one.

Turns out, I am super productive when I'm not social networking or playing Tetris online. Who would've thunk it?! Go figure. Well, I hope you'll follow me along these two very exciting journeys...I'm so excited about future posts.

Much love,

<3 Linda

Say wha, Sasquatch??

It has been nearly a whole YEAR since my last "post." I can't even claim to have a 'blog' as blogs require the addition of new matierial, networking and consistency. I, on the other hand, use a website built for blogging for "blobbing." A new term i coined to describe what I'm doing. Blobbing. Periodic, if not ever. What does one do on one of these? Despite a year full of adventures, heartachs, joys, sorrows, loves, hates, growth, experiences and with that - newly minted wisdom - the kind that comes from making a lot of mistakes, i have less and less to say.

Truth be told, the reason, true reason for not blogging?

I don't really know what to say.

I could blog about the events of my life - but that's what Facebook status updates & tweets are for. Besides, i have a hard time doing it on Facebook or Twitter. Much less more than 140 characters worth of descriptions here.

I could talk about the revelatory gems handed to me by Divinity in moments of silent contemplations, but most often, they are for me. Given for my growth, a challenge for transformation within my soul. Not (necessarily) for public consumption.

I could crack jokes, tell humorous stories and pay satirical homage to our humanity - but I'm still working on my comedic timing and "natural"-sounding wit. LOL. I'll get back to you when i master it. Hah. (as in, i'm not the only laughing at myself...like i am now!!)

I could gush about my marriage and the blessing of a godly, and ferociously loving husband, but he'd consider that "pillow talk" - basically, off limits. Plus, who's benefit would that be for?

I could lament about challenges and struggles that i face, or should i say, wish not to face?

I could debate politics and spew all kinds of fiery opinions i carry - and one day i may, but right now, i'd much rather have that passionate, heated, mind stimulating dialogue WITH you.

I could share moments of being knocked down, like really down, yet finding new strength to overcome, stand-up and place one foot in-front of the next - yet that happens every day, to you and to me. Let's have coffee instead.

I could numerate about an expertise to help forge ahead a path you may want to take, like how to invest in GICs, RRSPs, Mutual Funds, Stocks, Bonds...who am i kidding? I dont even know what those acronyms stand for! Much less decode their reality. Let me FIND you a blog that does.

I could dribble about mundane aspects of personal observations, and yet, you'd find it exhausting (albeit amusing at times) to read and i'd find it tedious to write.

So what now? I don't know.

I pray, that one day, when i have something to say that is beyond myself, beyond a narcissistic self-glorifying gab about me - something that would enrich YOU, make you smile, lift your spirits, encourage your heart, light up hope in a room otherwise dark... If and when, Daddy want's to use this mind, this voice, these fingers to reach out and touch you - i know i wont be able to stop.

Until then, here's to love. The purest love of Jesus. It's what we ALL share a commonality in - We are loved. You are loved. I am loved. He is love.

Pinch Me!

She's my baby!!

Blame Starbucks

It's Starbuck's fault.

Dreams that have been incubating in the womb of potentiality & calling are hatching and making a lot of noise! Their screech is similar to that of a newborn crying out to be fed, and dang it, mom & pop will feed!

Sam & I have been inundated with the butterflies that flutter around the chest/stomach area at the picture we see being painted before us of our future by our Papa and we are itching to move forward and running in one spot at the anticipation set before us. AHHH, it is so exciting.

Yet, dreams, as anything of value and great worth, require a focusing of energies, finances, time and priorities. Hence, the trimming has begun! But not trimming out of a depressing, "we can't afford it" attitude, rather, an inexpressible joy at investing in something so much bigger than ourselves!

I now have NO desire to spend $3.99 on a breakfast sandwich and $5.99 on a latte at Starbucks anymore! I have no desire to purchase new clothes that will only be in-style for this season. I have no desire to eat out at every ethnic restaurant i can think of, every single meal! I have this miraculous, energizing, tantalizing drive within me, probably for the FIRST TIME in my life, to fly head first into the bulls-eye of the destiny and purpose that God has for us! I can see it. I can smell it! It's more real to me than my POLS paper that's due this Wednesday! AHH!

So I blame Starbucks. I blame Starbucks for the hundreds of dollars spent the past 8 years addicted to it's elixir. I blame Starbucks for the awakening of my monetary senses. Without such a consistent gauge of my personal habits and personality, i would have never been able to have such a definitive marker of this internal transformation!

So THANK YOU Starbucks - for the hours and hours spent contemplating on your plush leather couches that are worn at the tip of the arms from others who've spent hours and hours resting on you. THANK YOU Starbucks for the times spent within your welcoming open doors expressing a broken heart, imploring God to awaken sedated dreams and desires numbed by the anesthesia of a busy life. THANK YOU Starbucks for being the marker of post & pre 'dreams-come-alive' in Sam & Linda Dumcum!

AHHHH! I can't wait to not spend money at Starbucks! Hahaha!!

Joshua Mateo

You must have been formed

By the hands of an angel

Greater still

The Divine fingers of El Shaddai

Perfect are your features

Even the ones that wrinkle

Pale freckles on your nose

Are just where they should be

All of heaven shouted

All of earth rejoiced

Singing "Hallelujahs" in harmony
To the songs of your mommy & daddy

You're a dream come true

Breath held in anticipation

Greatest gift of God delivered

Waiting for the arrival of you

Here you are, breathing softy

Sleeping in the arms of your auntie

So indescribable in beauty

Even the cherubs stare in wonder

Maybe you're a mirror, a portal

Into the vast eternity

Of the expressless love of the Lion

The passion of the Lamb.

Baby you're a telescope

Into the greatest mystery

Of what's contained in the space

Between the shoulders of God Almighty.

Didn't know such love was possible

You bring out the impossible

You are destined for the supernatural

You are cosmically loved, Joshua Mateo

Forever, and ever, and ever.

DOB: October 8, 2009
Time: 12:16pm
Weight: 9.8lbs

Eden

When the first light brightened the dark
Before the breaking of the human heart
There was you and there was me

Innocence was all I knew
Cause all I had to know was you
We were running underneath the trees

I wanna see you face to face
Where being in your arms is a permanent state
I want it like it was back then
I wanna be in Eden

I still remember how you called my name
And I would meet you at the garden gate
How the glory of your love would shine

I still remember when the stars were young
You breathe life into my lungs
Oh I never felt so alive

I wanna see you face to face
Where being in your arms is the permanent state
I want it like it was back then
I wanna be in Eden

To be naked and unashamed
In sweet downpour of innocent rain
I want it like it was back then
I wanna be in Eden

My eyes can see the colours of glory
My hands can reach the heavens before me
Oh my God I want to be there with you

Where our hearts will beat with joy together
And love will reign forever and ever
Oh my God I want to be there with you*

This is one of Phil Wickham's latest songs that he preformed during the "Something Heavenly" Tour with Sancuts Real. I got to play "groupie" as Sam & Every Eye were involved in bringing the tour in. I have not been able to get this song out of my head for the past few days. I hope it speaks to you as much as it has to me.

_________________________________________________________

*Lyrics used with the generous permission of Phil Wickham. From his newest record, "Heaven and Earth" about to hit an iTunes store or music shelf near you in approx 1 month. Don't miss it!

Hello Kitty!

Hahahah!

Oh, how i love being Asian. Seriously, what other nationality can empower you to entertain yourself for hours in-front of a wall of stationary? Who else gives you such beloved characters such as Hello Kitty, Pingu, Blue Bear, and other K-pop adorable creatures? What other culture perfects the art of chopstick-fly-catching? Or brings you Kung-Fu Pandas, tofu wrapped rice rolls and robot making 5 yr old geniuses?

Ahhh, Asians!

Just before getting dropped off at the YVR Airport here in Vancouver, my aunt took my mom, JaeHee and i to a Chinese mall...there i discovered these glorious wonders:

Tanks full of all kinds of fish, live shrimp, live crab, king crab, lobster! You can practice being Julie who's practicing being Julia Child! Where else can you see what a live scallop looks like?

A wall FULL of all sorts of hot sauce! FULL! VARIETY! Not just 3 different brands like in most supermarkets! And all my favourite kinds too! Unbelievable! I'm in heaven!

The BEST part! Asian junk food! I had to sample a few, mostly new to me, some old favourites (the Onion Rings and Strawberry Pocky).

Check this out:
Top left hand corner - Whistle Candy! Just below that "Oriental Soothing Herb Drops" (OSHD for short) - yum. To the right of the "OSHD" are...wait for it...wait for it...they are worth waiting for...COFFEE FLAVOURED BREATH MINTS!! You read correctly. Dont we have breath mints to HIDE the coffee scent in our mouths? Yah, that's what i thought too!

But, not to be outdone: the KitKat. Please take a closer look beyond the familiar branding to the photo of what's actually inside. Does that look like chocolate to you? Looks more like sesame seed sprinkled fried tofu cubes to me! Too odd for words. All i can do is open the package and try them.

The rest is pretty self explanatory...Hello Kitty branded candy that I'm sure taste as delightful as the feline herself. The other, a strawberry flavoured something or other. I like strawberry flavoured stuff...I'm sure I'll like it.

So there you have it! A sampling of how awesome it is to be Asian.

Ahhh....Time to board my flight!

From the mouth of babes...

Jae-hee (Hanna), 6 yrs old, said to me in the car ride back from Whistler:

"You know what's the weirdest thing? When someone is the guest of someone and the person says, "I wanna go somewhere" and the other person says, "I'll take you somewhere" and the guest says, "no it's ok, I dont have to go" when they really want to go, and the other person says, "No, I'll take you, it wont take long!" when really it does take long and the guest says, "No its ok" when they want to go! And the the person is trying to be nice and the guest is trying to be nice and they fight with each other cuz the other is trying to be nice. It's the WEIRDEST thing!"

Today's lesson in "Child-likeness"? Being honest is more logical than being polite.

Imagine Life Without Computers...

I was having some quality time with my little cousin, JaeHo (Aaron); 9 years old, inventor extraordinaire, genius child, gifted with exploding creativity, technologically savvy and just as hooked on is Nintendo dsi as the next kid.

JaeHo is the kind of boy who has a whole community of online friends he's met while playing on Roblox the online version of Lego and already knows how to touch type. 9 years old. I learned how to touch type in grade 10! I was 15. When i told him that, he nonchalantly said, "Well, i play on the computer a lot, so..." True say. Words from the mouth of a 21 Century tech wiz kid who could be a PC commercial.

Anyway, I decided to set him up with a blog (don't tell him i gave you the link) since he's already online so much. I, being the wise old cousin, wanted to channel his creative juices in a productive and healthy way. In a blog, he can practice typing, create short stories, express himself freely...etc.

He was so delighted to have is OWN WEBSITE! This was a big deal. He was fascinated with the idea and totally pumped to start writing. As i was setting him up on blogspot, i said to him, "Jaeho, I didnt have a computer growing up when i was your age! Can you imagine a world without computers?"

I was totally expecting a 9 year old worthy answer of, "eww, you're so old"

What he did say was, "It'd be better."

"What? A world without computers would be better? Did you say better? You mean worse, right?"

"It'd be better." He maintained.

"Why?"

"Because then everyone would be outside more."

Wow. Simple, yet so profound.

With twitter, facebook, blogspot, text messaging...as amazing as technology is and will continue to evolve to become, we're loosing our human connection and getting fat in the meantime. Solution? Stop reading this blog and let's get out more! (wink)
_________________________________________________
ps. since Jaeho started blogging, he's discovered he can even publish posts from his Nintendo dsi. There's no going back now, is there?

as you are

i'm placing on the table
everything i've collected
since the last time we did this

here's all of my junk
all my dirty rags
i've collected quite a few of them

you can have my filthiness
my brokenness
take all my shattered random pieces

all thats died in my hands
resurrect them in yours
whats fallen through my cracks
catch them in your completeness
all my scattered dreams
dream them for me

you are beautiful
divine holiness
expressed in glorious light
iridescent living colours
shining through your eyes
staring, staring straight into mine

gentle as a breeze
fierce consuming fire
sacrificing lamb
ferocious roaring lion
soaring high as eagles
lowly homeless man

you are God
you are King
you are Beautiful

come mold me as you are
and make me beautiful again

eat⋅ing [ee-ting]

- noun
1. the act of a person or thing that eats.
2. food with reference to its quality or tastiness when eaten: This fish is delicious eating.

- adjective
3. good or fit to eat, esp. raw: eating apples.
4. used in eating: eating utensils.

It's 2:35pm and I have forgotten to eat. Something I find myself doing quite often. Grrr.

Midnight Crooner

Voice of an angel
Commands raging seas to rest in peace
Reaching into the souls unknown
Forcing one to confront their reality

My eyes spilled on cue to your words of rolling melodies
Pulling me back to Spring of 2006
Young man wide eyed standing on the steps
Of a world filled with possibilities

We're all grown up now
Weathered by the jabs of time
Bruised hearts unhealed broken bones
Sobered in the name of Maturity

Is this who we are?
Am I who I signed up to become?
Have we forgotten the innocence of youth?
The colours of living free?

Now lost in a field of swaying faces
Exactly where you want to be
I hope you are truly happy
In touch with your humanity

Who are we
If we don't have our laughter?
Who are we
If we don't carry sorrows?

Just don't let them take your sparkle
Don't let it steal your shine
Don't forget the boy inside still carries
A need for love from his Adoni

Relationships...it's the "R" word.

Relationships.

There's been a lot of talk surrounding this word as of late. The fact that there has been a wedding every weekend of July might have something to do with that. It's amazing the kind of emotions this word has the power to evoke both in speaker and the hearer of this word.

Relationships.

We tend to feel: Threatened - at the projected idea or subjective idea that "I am to blame for my current or lack of." Hopeful - "There is a glint in someone's eye that matches and reflects the glint in mine"...all other butterflies ensue. Hopeless, Angry, Nostalgic, Joyful, Disappointed, Confused, Resolved, Content, Peaceful, Nauseous, Euphoric...and sometimes all in the same day.

Relationships.

No formula. No method to the madness. No fail safe steps. No neon signs (sorry ladies :). No clear boxes to determine "Right/Wrong for you." No two stories are the same. No one's story is the same. Which means, your story will be like no others and your story cannot be compared to any others. There is no true authority in the arena of Relationships, no expert - except the Author and Creator of the "R" word.

Relationships are much like God. Mind-bafflingly Simply AND Intricately, Deeply Complex. Relationships are about love, as He is Love. Relationships are not just for our personal enjoyment/pain but a life-size installation art piece, a living demonstration, revelation played out of God's unconditional, unrelentingly, supremely romantic, heart-breakingly unrequited, forever pursuing, mysterious, dangerous, risky, untamed, untainted, unadulterated, pure, true LOVE.

Think about your heart-aches.
Jesus' physical heart broke for you 2000 years ago, and still aches to be your 1st love.

Think about your joys.
"...you love Him...you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy" (1Pet1:8)

Think about your failures.
"If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny who He is." (2Tim2:13)

Think about unrequited love.
God is the greatest unrequited lover. We love because He loved us FIRST. (1Jn4:19,Jn3:16,17)

Think about all the times you've had to painfully wait.
Jesus has been waiting for you since He thought of you before the begining of time (Ps139) and is still patient with us, ready to fulfill His promises. (2Pet3:9)

If anything, all your heart-aches and joys have only lead you or can lead you to the GREATEST Lover and shown you a glimps into His incredible heart of Love.

Take heart, my beloved friend. Relationship was not created to be this complicated mess we sometimes make it out to be. It's meant to bring you to Life - Abundant Life, Life to the Fullest (Jn10:10), His Life (Jn14:6)...So if you're feeling less than alive when you hear the "R" word, let the Lover of your soul remind you that you are not lacking anything. Because the one who created who you are and thought up Relationship, the one who invented it, is sitting right next to you.

Why don't you just ask Him a question?

Ecclesiastes 3:11

Beauty beyond measure
Extending outside of space
Movement not limited to motion
No temporal exchange

Your eyes exclude nothing
Detailing in the simple
Love what's been shamed

Splashing sparkle on what's naught
Touching all that is shriveled
Giving worth to the recycled
Nothing left unsought

Breath of the Divine
Imprints His Design
Reflections of His Mind

Eternity is the measure
Finite unable to comprehend
Your hand unfathomable
Futile to contain

This vastness brought low
Wisdom laid down
Magnificence made bare

I am beautiful to You
My pain is precious to You
My frustrations over Time
Frustrates You

You make all things
Beautiful
In Your time.

Life takes place behind the face.

"Life takes place behind the face.

Interacting with God in the place of our imagination the place of my spirit.

Living for God happens on the inside, it always happens on the inside. That is the reality I am trying to live by. God is looking at my heart, looking at my mind. It says that God is the one who searches the heart. He lives within us. He made us like a garden enclosed so that He can dwell in us. THIS is where life takes place, this - right here [my heart] - this is where I live before God. The motives of my heart...He is looking at the CORE of who I am and that's where we are interacting, that's where He lives!

So it doesnt matter who you are, everyone is qualified - your heart is moving, all you need is a moving heart."

-Misty Edwards on IHOP 'One Thing' video podcast.

Res·ur·rec·tion

[rez-uh-rek-shuh-n] - noun

1.	the act of rising from the dead.

2.	the state of those risen from the dead.

3.	a rising again, as from decay, disuse, etc.; revival.

"Awakening"

Face down with the LA curbside endings

With the ones and zeros.
Downtown was the perfect place to hide.
The first star that I saw last night was a headlight
Of a man-made sky, but man- made never made our dreams collide,
Collide.

Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain,
We're awakening
Here we are now with our desperate youth and the pain,
We're awakening
Maybe it's called ambition, you've been talking in your sleep
About a dream, we're awakening

Last week found me living for nothing but deadlines,
With my dead beat sky but, this town doesn't look the same tonight
These dreams started singing to me out of nowhere
And in all my life I don't know that I ever felt so alive,
Alive

I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating,
I'm bleeding
I want to wake up kicking and screaming
I want to live like I know what I'm leaving
I want to know that my heart's still beating
It's beating... it's beating...
I'm bleeding

-by Switchfoot "Oh! Gravity"-

"I want to live like i know what i'm leaving..."

Wow. Those lyrics so challenge me. For 2008 God gave me Eph 5:15-16 as my "year verse" and I'm still needing Holy Spirit to shape me and form me to be and live this out. To live with purpose every moment, every minute, every decision.

To live intentionally, with design, the way my Heavenly Father is and has made me to be.

“Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people), making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil." (AMP)

Ahhh...Romance.

Here are some hilarious photos i found while searching "Romance" on Google Images. I couldn't resist but share! Hope you enjoy!



















Otter Romance



















Utter Romance - Fabio wannabe















Mr. Romance - Fabio in the flesh with no Photoshop blur effects and shirt buttoned up!



















Who needs Ken, when you're in Fabio's arms?!



















NASCAR Romance - Featuring our own Nick Tenszen - (This is not "Speed Dating's" first blog appearance, believe it or not!)



















Nothing says "Romantic" more than a putrid green shag iPod case. Pay attention men! Great gift idea!



















Spidey Romance! (is it just me or does Spiderman have an unusually curvy head?!)



















Bandit Romance - Hey, some ladies LOVE Zorro!



















Romance "God's Way" - Apparently it comes with a Brady Bunch smile included. (Just a tad creepy! :) Good message none-the-less)



















Who doesn't think a lady with her cat is romantic? (ugh, need to shake that one off!)



















Korean Romance - of course! It wouldnt be Korean Drama if it didn't feature a perfectly polished man in distress with weepy eyes and a busted up lip - that's Romance, people!



















Awww...cute Smiley Korean Romance!

____________________________________________

Well, i hope you enjoyed my findings. Google "Love" and you'll find a whole stack more...
Ahhh...thankfully, Love and Romance aren't meant to be expressed solely by a 2 dimensional image...it is alive, real, full of colour, movement, beauty and the One who started it all!

Happy VD everyone!

Romanced on Valentines

I'm loving BC.

Sure, there is a Starbucks on every corner of Vancouver and definitely one in Surrey, BC - where i'm at right now, but DANG, Starbucks does NOT rule the Java Empire as it does in Toronto.

I'm sitting on a cosy wicker couch in what's called the "Java Hut" drinking a Soy Chai Latte with home-made banana bread. Ahhh. Java Hut to me, epitomizes what a true "third place" should be like. They have practically organic everything, serve packaged pepperoni sticks (some may gag, but i love these things) from a butcher down the street (which was soo delicious by the way) and the guy behind the counter noticed i was carrying something heavy and commented about it to me. I told him it was my computer. Without skipping a beat or even asking me, he wrote down on a piece of receipt paper the password to their secured wireless and handed it to me as i made my order. SUPERB! I love Java Hut.

Since my quasi-boycott of Starbucks, i've experienced so many incredible coffee establishments that are equally or superior welcoming environments committed to customer satisfaction, comfort and enjoyment. I'm really enjoying the adventure of experiencing new places to have God-times and chill-me-times.

Anyway...Temples to the Espresso god was not the original intent of this entry, so speaking of god...

I love that God is Love. He is the Divine Romance. He is the creator of romance, he romances us and Dang, is He ever romantic.

On a day that we singles would normally wish we could roll our eyes further back into our heads and secretly wish we were one of "those girls" we knew in highschool who pranced around the halls waving their long-stemmed red wand around making the rest of us jealous...i feel the warm breath of our God of love who has committed to never ever leave our side. Why do we even want Valentines Day? I believe it's because we all want to know that we are so special, invaluable, loved, cared for, cherished, worth spending loads and loads of money and time on :)...and i think we sometimes can become disconnected to the fact that we are meant to feel that every day and these desires are never truly satisfied in it's fullness except through our God of Love, God of true Romance.

I feel more cared for right now, than i ever have by any human. He's even given me gifts! :) One of the ladies that work for Java Hut came up to me and handed me a clear package of dark chocolate covered Sumatra beans - i love these things!! And a bottle of strawberry syrup that i can mix with some club soda to make my own "Italian soda" or whole new concoction birth in my imaginations! :) I am so blessed.

Thank you Father, for you're indescribable love and grace. Thank you that you know me better than anyone else. Thank you that who i am on the inside matters to you. That what i like matters to you that what i'm like matters to you. I love you. Thank you for your love for me.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Flight to Vancouver: $753?!!?!!

Linda: "WHAT?!

I've always known flights to BC were more doosh then to the UK but come on!"

Boarding Pass: "No, no...chill out, take a deep breath. Let me break it down for you girl.

Fare: $2.50
GST/HST $0.36
Security Tax $4.67
---------------------------
Flying to Vancouver for $7.53? PRICELESS!"

That's right, people! I flew out to Vancouver for SEVEN dollars and FIFTY-THREE cents! Ahhh, the joys of having connections with the Airport authority...ok, maybe not the AA, but definitely the higher ups in the flight world...ok, maybe not true either. It helps to have a baby sis whos-not-so-much-a-baby-anymore-@-24 sis...the one, the only TINA LOVE!

Anyway, i got here and it has been food for my soul, oil in my lamp, the wind beneath my wings, the automatic buttons for my doors, the curvy handlebar of my yet to be found cruiser bicycle...well, you get the point.

Let's just start with the weather. I took one pair of shoes, or shall i say "boots", one thick long winter coat toping off layers and layers underneath. I arrive in Beautiful British Columbia to find that V-town is 35 Degrees C warmer than whenst i came, the sun was shining and my Aunt took me all over downtown Vancouver - Yaletown, Chinatown, Gastown, trendy shops, Japanese groceries (coolest ever!) and we ate sushi and brought home the real thing to make from scratch. My Aunt is so cool.

THEN, i get to play with my cousins!! Jae-Hee (the 4yr old beauty) tried to keep me awake by pinch/massaging my neck - resembling a tickle, and then when that didn't work, proceeded to put her feet in my face. I tried reverse psychology by pretending that was the potion i needed to sleep, only then i found not only her little feet in my face, but her big toe was being shoved up my right nostril. Yah, that's when that ended.

She then proceeded to bounce on my stomach and jump around in bed...thankfully my Aunt rescued me and i slept for 2 hours.

Enters Jae-Ho (7yr old wonderboy!). I woke up to the sounds of him chattering in the backround, obviously back from school. Then i hear, "No, Jae-Ho, let her sleep!" "But i just want to peek! Let me just peek!" Then quiet footsteps began to ascend the stairs. So jumped out of bed and hid behind the door, couching, ready, waiting...then Jae-Ho gently opens the door and i UNLEASHED a growl on him! Needless to say, it was so much fun!

Since the we've played Lego and i attempted to build things. My lack of creativity and inginuity was obvious next to my little cousin's genius contraptions...alas...i spent the whole time they were at Tae Kwon Do trying to make something worthy of "cool"...however i gave up after a hours at it. I ended up coming up with a "secret door" that my cousin found in less than a nano second. Not so "secret" after all.

Alas, it's been healing and beautiful here. I am so thankful that God opened the opportunity and the time for me to get away.

Ahhh...many more stories to come... love yous!

408 of 365

It's been OVER a whole year since my last post...As Brendan Serez notably pointed out.

I think i broke my own record. :) Sweet!

Now that I'm done with not blogging...i believe an update is in order.

Reading my last post, filled with the buzz of anticipation, naive, wide-eyed, blank canvass view of 2007 from the end of a year i did not know how it would turn out, is kinda trippy. Remembering the feeling of newness and wonder of what God had in store for me in 2007 and now looking back and chronicling the past 12 months in my mind and heart is a very sobering place. I weighty sense of awe. Awe at the fact that we are so human. Our minds so finite. We think we know and yet we know nothing. We hope and yet we despair not realizing the days ahead of us are not in the hands of some 'Evil Genius' who only wills for our obedience in hopes of a good future. But a powerful, almighty, infinite, sovereign, holy, awesome, marvelous God of all gods who is also our loving Father - full of goodness, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, life, promise, joy. This incredible Heavenly Dad who knows the plans he has for us. Plans to bless us and not harm us, to give us a HOPE and a FUTURE. (Jer. 29:11)

Looking back on my past as i was about to embrace my future has given me a fresh perspective on the goodness of God. If i were once again sitting on January 2nd, 2007 and you were to ask, "Linda, what would be the greatest dream come true for 2007?", i would not have been able to give you an answer that would even compare to how astoundingly above and beyond my imagination this past year has been for me.

Life absolutely has its ups and downs, however through Jesus we have ABUNDANT LIFE which means the downs only feed the ups and the ups outshine the downs. 2007 can be defined as a year of promises fulfilled and the shaking of my head in speechless wonderment. Why do we ever doubt the goodness of God who is Love? Why do we always hope beyond faith?

Faith, Hope and Love must exist together. Hope - in the goodness of God that He gives us glimpses of, Faith that the goodness we see is not just faint mirages, but rather glimpes of what is to come and experiencing the beautiful tangible LOVE of God through all that we've hoped and had faith for.

Dreams God has fulfilled in 2007:
- Started a beautiful relationship and fell in love with the most wonderful man, Sam Dumcum
- Started living with my amazing friend, Noel Grzetic
- Enrolled into York University, Majoring in Political Science
- Planted a brand new congregation - TACF North York
- An "A" Student (take that, High School!)
- Heavy Rain: our 1st Young Adult Conference which was REVOLUTIONARY
- Became engaged to the most wonderful man, Sam Dumcum
- Rang in the New Year with people I love, putting God 1st in 2008

I am now 26 years, 1 month and 10 days old and I am excited about the "New Beginnings" He has in store to pour out in 2008.

IT's ME BERF-DAY!!!

YAY!!

25 years OLD today.

...i now HAVE to shed my childish ways and officially be a responsible adult. Shucks! I was enjoying the "young but respectable" age of 24...in fact, since 21 - every year has been my favourite. So i do have a pretty good feeling about being 25. Only now I'm no longer considered to be in my "early 20s", I'm now a quarter of a CENTURY and much closer to 30! EEk! I need to get a move on! :)

It's already been a good year, full of unexpected surprises (and it's only been 2 days!!) ...which i am sure will be blogged about in the not-too-distant future. But Daddy has been so good to me, IS so good to me and i see His mischievous smile and that sparkle in His eyes when He's TOTALLY up to something in my life...now He's grinning...yup, definitely something up His sleeve. The promises of GOd for me this year are overwhelming. The steps He's already laid out for me are overwhelming and because of that, i ain't leaving that little "linda shaped" pocket in His heart set aside just for me because my life depends on it!! Even if the whole world is deceived and may disagree, i sure as heck know my silly, awkward and fumbling ways... Like, what do i know? Really?

Without Him, 2007 and my 25th year is pretty much hopeless...haha!! Seriously! I think i could star in my own slap-stick comedy staring: me. Hahaa!! (And you all thought "Borat" was bad :) "Veddy NICE!") But being "without Him" is not an option so neither is "hopelessness." "In Him was Life, and the Life was the LIGHT of man!" (Jn. 1:4)

So I'm excited! Life, bring it on! Hit me with your best shot!! WAH!

It's the MOST wonderful time...

You would have thought I was 4, by the way i was squealing and giggling, bouncing about my seat! I'm convinced that the kids were just the adults' excuse for coming to watch Disney on Ice, sorta like an accessory, because com'mon, let's face it...it's the grown ups who REALLY want to meet Mickey & Minnie! Who can resist the charms of Daffy, Daisy and Goofie?!? Myself, Anna, Noel, Andrew, Sarah Gaz, Jon were secure enough to go watch Disney on Ice without a child to deflect on...yup! Secure. Well, our friend Mark is in the show...yah... (shoot! OK, i am deflecting.) "Mark is in the show, we went to support our friend. Yah...that's it...no kids but friend in show! "

Anyway Mark is currently doing "break work", a phrase they use in the "Biz" which essentially means, instead of being with his friends and family for 2 months after depriving us of his presence being on the opposite side of the known WORLD touring "Finding Nemo" for the past 500 years...HE'S GONE ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!! @%*#!! (No, I'm not upset! Really.) ...with a show called "Mickey and Minnie's Magical Journey" skating all over North America, though mostly the States. Thankfully he had a couple Canadian shows lined up and Toronto was one of them!

This is the show where we get to join the Mickey and Friends as they go on vacation to London, England. On their journey they visit Peter Pan, Cruella De Vil, the Little Mermaid and Lilo & Stitch. (The last I've never heard of, but bawled - real liquid - the whole way through...so heart warming, so heart wrenching...baahhhh!)

It was AWESOME...we cheered, and hollered, clapped and waved from the audience! It was a roller coaster of exciting proportions! Mark got us tickets (since he's on the show!) and after the show was finished he quickly changed into his less heroic sweats (otherwise he would have been mobbed by the hordes of "little people" we call "children" and met up with a couple of his cast mates and had Starbucks...it was such a FUN FUN FUN afternoon!

[psst: one of the characters he plays in Little Mermaid is a STARFISH!]

So tomorrow morn, before Mark gets whisked away again to some other part of the states, we are going for breakfast @ 7:45am so he can get back in time for his show. Only for a friend would I EVER wake up that early... It was great to see you, dear friend, bless you with all that Father has for you!! Stay buried in Jesus...and remember we love you, we pray for you and we are always family for you... I can't wait till May where Marky Mark'll be back for 2 whole months! WOOHOO!! It'll be like Christmas!

The Gift

Gifts.

They say it's one of my love languages. Tis true, i cannot deny my love for being Santa - all year round! To the point where I've had to learn to hold back after nearly bankrupting myself by giving without discernment, long-term consideration, strategic financing or really, any wisdom. (Bought an acquaintance a $50 purse + 15% taxes + $25 gift wrapping). I love gifts. I love to give them. I love the sheer delight on faces to whom i show my love and appreciation to through the carefully considered, tenderly thought-out, perfectly fitted present. When my sister tears up saying, "How did you know?"...it's priceless. I love gifts.

This Christmas, i began to ponder the Christmas Story. Practically "saved" from the womb, Christmas has become as cliche to me as "Jesus Loves You" ...like what does that even really mean? Especially since @ the age of 16 my entire world view was shattered after discovering Jesus wasn't even BORN on the 25th of December!! WHAT?? "Christmas is Jesus' birthday", "Jesus was God's only begotten Son"...was i expected to comprehend what "begotten" alluded to or implied or how this message even effected my life, today? So what? Other than an event that was created to make one feel guilty for not fully appreciating John 3:16, or a commercialized "holiday" where statistics are posted of the mass public duped into the marketing schemes of multibillionaires who are laughing all the way to the bank, what is Christmas? What does it mean when "they" - the super spiritual ones - say, "Jesus is the greatest gift of all!" I want to KNOW the significance of the stories I've heard repeatedly. I NEEDED to re-evaluate what I've repeated with my lips, bypassing my brain, let alone my heart, my whole life. What is Christmas?

This conundrum lead me to Luke 2:10-11:

"The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, i bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the town of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord." (NASB)

Like a 3 yr old girl i asked, "Why, Daddy. Why?" And so, like any good Father would...He gently proceeded to break it down for me.

"Do not be afraid...": Contrary to my previous belief that the angels' announcement was to warn of their frighteningly ugly appearance...it was a declaration of peace and stillness to a tortured mind. Rest to the routine conflict of emotions, the immutable uncertainty of life. An end to fear being the only constant of our existence. Peace at last. Peace never known or experience before, was now mine.

"...good news of great joy...": No matter how wonderful, beautiful, exquisite or premeditated; i could never give my gift saying, "This is good news. This will solve that problem you've been having with your micro-managing boss who is obviously biased against you. This gift will stop all the heinous rumors and back room gossip you've had to suffer these past few months. Good news of Great joy, packaged in gold, wrapped in red ribbon! Tada!" I could never say that. My gifts only offer fleeting smiles and a depreciation rate faster than whipped cream left in the warm summer sun. I've got nothing. But Him? HE has a GIFT that brings me GOOD NEWS? That will cause a reaction in me of enormous, colossal, extravagant, excessive, abundant ecstasy, exultation, gladness, jubilance, merriment, rapture, ravishment, rejoicing, wonder of joy? WHAT? Does that emotion even exist on this planet? A gift that doesn't loose it's sparkle after the 1st use? A gift that could change my life? Really?

"...which will be for all the people...": ALL. He said, "ALL", did you hear that peoples? So this includes both you and me, AND that micro-managing, twit of a boss...? crazy.

"...there has been born for you...": Someone born, not for their parents, not for themselves, not for the really good old lady down the hall who gives stray cats a home...Someone, a PERSON born for ME? You sure about that? Why would a person be born for me? What's in it for you?

"...a Saviour...": Ahh... it all makes sense. I need saving. I need help. I need that hand to grab me with cat like reflexes from falling off this cliff. i need a hand much stronger than mine as I've lost all strength to hold on. i need a arm powerful enough to carry my dead weight out and pound my chest back to life. i need someone smarter than me to dig me out of the mess i drilled myself into. i need someone loving enough to melt this heart blackened with hatred. i need someone patient enough to cut through the vines of bitterness so tightly woven around my neck, i need someone wise enough to teach me to live again. I need Life alive enough to rescue me from my death. I do need a Saviour. I need Him, urgently. I need my Saviour more than i need my iPod, more than i need my purple alligator print shoes, i need my Saviour more than i need my make-up brushes from MAC...i need a Saviour. I need You. I need your gift. I desperately have been waiting and hoping my whole exisitance, for You.

I get it. Christmas means everything. Christmas means i am who i am today. A Daughter, full of love, hope, reason for living. A Saviour who is my Everlasting Father, Abba, Daddy! A little girl so spoilt and lavished with love by her Dad. A woman who knows she is Beautiful because her Father told her so. A human who's been given a new, fresh, real chance at Life...Life to the fullest, Life Abundant with the Giver of Life, Love Himself.

Wow. Thank you for Christmas. Jesus, thank you for your birth. God, thank you for giving me your only begotten Son. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for the Gift.

You've got to be kidding me!

So thanks to the GORGEOUS, Fabulous, Super Sexy, Ab-Crunchingly Funny, Magical Mom Adele Richards...i stumbled upon this quiz. Quite entertaining, though equally disconcerting. I really don't know what to do with it! Let me know what you think??

Does this mean i still have an "F. O." on my forehead?? CRABNABIT!! ARG, when will this end???

..

It is true though...no one better mess with my posse...because then they mess with ME!!! And you don't want to see an angry Cho. Absolutely not! :)

..

Well, either way, i choose to reject such silly quiz results... Now do yours and let me know what you got! :) Hehee!! Go on, you know you want to!! Adele got the "Midas Touch" I would have to agree!! She is amazing... Let me know! Haha!!

I Just Want You Lord

I've looked into the world
I've looking into the stars
There is no one like you, God

I've tried it on my own
I've tried to do things my way
I just can't live without you, God

I'm ready to listen
Ready to follow
Ready to give my life

I just want you Lord
You're all that i want
You're all that i need

I just want you Lord
There is no one else like you
I can't live without you, God.

Words and music by Jon Long.

Lyrics to a song i just cant get out of my head. I've been listening to it on repeat since i got it last night. It is THE passionate cry from my heart that just spills on to every thought, every word, every action, every desire! I just want you Lord! You're all that i want, You're all that i need! There's no one else like you and i can't live without you! I'm ready to listen, ready to follow! I'm ready to give you my life! All of me, surrendered to you, Jesus. Lord i am so desperate for you and more of you. Nothing else satisfies! Nothing else compares! I love you, i love you, i love you, Lord.

If you want to hear a clip of this song, it's on the new Freshwind: Passionate Life album that's just been released. www.myspace.com/freshwindpassionatelife

Decaf Triple Grande 5 pump Sugarfree Hazelnut Non-Fat Light Foam Extra Hot 3 Raw Sugar Latte

...Or something like that.



So i am officially a Starbucks Barista as of November 6, 2006.
More detials to come...

Santa: I'm real, even check me!

Ohhh, i love the internet. I seriously stumble accross the most random sites and am often thrown into the helms of concern for mankind.

Seriously. Check this site out.

Dundas Street West Cafe

The sun is setting, barely touching the buildings in front of me. Just about to make it's landing before shying away behind the red brick across the street from the misplaced European cafe where I sip my latte. Contaned in a mini cup fittend with it's matching saucer, a midget handle and a wee hole just big enough for my index finger to slip through; Italian expresso in the ghetto.

My heart is soft. So soft.

An oversized woman with head shaved to a buzz struggles to twist open the bottle containing her OJ as she drops into the 50's inspired metal chair at the round white table opposite me. Mustard tank and glasses low on her nose, she unfolds the newspaper to where the last patron left off. It is peaceful with the music playing. A mellow soundtrack to my snapshot in time.

Oh, my heart is very soft.

It's a beautiful day when the music is playing. Music stops, the playlist concluded, reality aggressively snaps back into my perfect picture. I press the appropriate buttons and the music begins to play again. The day is saved.

Drinking back the last of my latte, lick off the bit of foam tracing my lip. Close my book, tuck my pens back in their place, shoulder my bag and walk to the beat of my personal rockband.

Ahhh my heart is soft, so soft.

Can't hold back my smiles, rebelling against my composure they burst from inside.

Today's been a beautiful day.

Short end of the stick...

This 14-year old boy from Nepal is attempting to take my place in the Guinness World Records for the shortest person at 20 inches tall. Silly Khagendra Thapa Magar! What are you thinking, buddy?

Thankfully, they refused to consider him until he turns 18! Phew! TAKE THAT, little 20inch-10pound-singing-and-dancing-making-$4000-tiny-boy! You don't threaten me!!

WAH!! He is sooooo cute! You can't tell me this minature man is not adorable! CARP! Someone needs take that $4000 and install some survallence. He's endagered of Paris Hilton poaching and holding him hostage in her purse with his head poking out. 5 buck says she'll replace the hat with a pink bow and call him "Sugar Plum".

Click Here for the full story.

That's Me!

Hold the punch-lines! I happen to be quite proud of this one.



all thanks to Jonathan and Maija Puddle

Now we must've gone too far...

I am all for relevant, wholesome alternatives for our kids. Heck, Jesus knows we need them. With people like Paris, Lindsey and 50 Cent as our current role models and the false realities of this world infiltrating our perception of the true realities of God and His kingdom, I love healthy alternatives for our kids. In fact, I look forward to the day when I take advantage of some of these myself. But I find that there is always the fine line between wholesome and over-the-top, righteous and religious, resourcing and profiting, edifying and exploiting.

Then I get presented with something like this. Almost too funny to take seriously then feeling bad for mocking to questioning it's original intent and current contribution. I don't know. You tell me...try to without cracking a joke. :)



Other Fabulous Sites: Happy shopping!

Armor of God PJs

Wholesome Wear

Solid Light: for the body of believers

Latter-Day Creations

If you find more great alternative sites please submitt them. Thanks.